Goddess Serenity~ ;p

Decisions

2006-08-30T09:11:00.000+08:00

Fcuk...

I wanna cry. and bawl out loud.

Since when was taking a Bach Degree in Business considered "commoner" and taking Biomedical Sci/TCM a "scholar"? Why did my mom have to tell everyone abt wad i think, resulting in every relative of mine calling me to psycho me to stay in NTU or go Monash for Med? Why did she say that I could make my own decisions, only to tell me now that she'll be disappointed in me if I chose anything less then Biomed or Med? I grew up thinking that my parents wouldnt stop me from doing what I wanted. I thought that my parents would trust me enough to make my own decisions and support me in whatever decisions that I make. Why is this an exception?

I cant talk to anyone abt it becuz everytime i'm with muthus, I'm too happie to think abt issues like this to get me down. Cuz everytime I'm in the company, i wanted to do things that are more important on hand. Cuz I feel so much more at ease and comfortable in the presense of the girls, youwei, calvin, alexx, kent, ben etc..

But it's like this bottle of coke inside me. everytime I talk to my parents, it gets shaken up and attempts to explode. Then everytime I'm in company, or with muthus, they put nice salt into the coke to get rid of all the gas. Hmm. It's not a very good analogy, but u get what i mean!!

My work doesnt effect me or give me stress. Studying gives me a little bit more, but I can handle it! I can handle everything except my parent's obvious disappointment, their sarcastic remarks, their biased opinions abt NTI, them talking to me abt the same thing everyday. "Give up ur work!", "Study Med or Biomed/TCM", "Dont come home so late!", "Meet you also must make appt!", "Cant you just stay at home?!",

Everytime they say that, it tears a part of me becuz everything they say revolves around what I love to do in NTI. Being a Lingdao, meeting the girls, taking their appts, making my own appts, sharing with others this wonderful feeling and opportunity, having late night supper, going crazy at the KTV, clubbing on Mambo night... Everytime they say that, I feel as if they didnt want me to be happiy (as IF i'll be contented staying at home all day staring into the empty hse!!). But I do knw that I need to spend more time with my siblings.. I just wish my parents would stop talking to me abt the same things and let me be. Nothing effects me so much so as compared to their excessive concern and demands. And it'll take me sometime too. Cuz Ling and Min and Dora and Youwei has yet to become inter-dependent and take appts as well. Until then, I will wanna take their appts and until they are ready, den will i think abt spending time with my family a little more. (maybe then my parents will be happy that I spend 2 hrs at home staring into empty space.) You know that in 2 hours I can take 2 appts and that means 2 possible students and also means possible Emcom joint-partnership prospects and would mean USD100 to the girls or youwei???!!)

*breathes*

Nothing stresses me out as much as my parents.. My mom even chose not to tell me abt a gathering on this coming friday night. "tell u, u also not free anyway." Ouch. How does she want me to concentrate on my studies this way? I cant do well in my studies when u guys are affecting me so much.. I know I may be busy. But stop making it sound like i'm not putting in any effort. cuz i really am.. There are some things that I HAVE to do and like to do. Just certain commitments that I made and want to keep. It's not my choice that family gathering has to be on friday night, and speaker's training is on friday night as well. And I like speaker's training. Sigh. Doesnt mean that I dont like spending time with my family lah.. Just that.. I wish they wont put so much expections on me. I'm withering from all the explanation, the crying, the worry, the concern..

I'm so proud of the girls ytd. Ling's making appts again, giving Emma and the rest a model to follow. Fen's leaving soon, but she's doing a good job of bridging Emma and MengQing to Ling and myself. Youwei's making appts soon again, and his guys are all enthusiastic and made alot of appts this week. (: *beams* I'm glad they're in NTI with me.

Mr Alexx held an emotional meeting for managers ytd night. It was awkward at first, but it turned out pretty well. All of us got to know one another in more detail, how to improve ourselves and knows where our strengths and focuz should be. We promised him 500 lots among the 16 of us in 2 weeks. TWO weeks!! :D:D

There'll be a Ying Xiong Yan D&D in end of Sept. If we hit that target, all managers will be invited to the D&D. If not, we'll all not wear our shiny coats for a month (NO!) and for our team, guys or girls that become managers in this time period and fight hard for that 500 lots, will be invited to the D&D too! *^^* I cant wait!!

I'm gonna hit it. (: Promise!

Transfer

2006-08-22T11:36:00.000+08:00

*frowns* NTU really quite a boring place. I'm bored stiff there! sigh. My double degree course has abt 60plus peepz, and rumoured to only have FOUR guys. (: how dreadfully cool is that? Wahahahahaha! the four guys must feel that they are in heaven. Wahahahaha!

Anyway I was confused with my university course and career direction for a while.. Been blinded by alot of factors. I dont really know why I chose TCM and Biomed Sci. Mmm.. Anyhow, talking to my family Doc today.. Doc Koh, I've decided to transfer to SMU.. He just asked me what it was that I LIKED or LOVED to do. I couldnt say TCM or Medicine.

Before that, he asked me what I was considering. I said, the potential of each course and opportunity can offer me. He immediately said WRONG~~! It wasnt the first and most important question I should ask myself. He asked me what I liked to do. Business. Asked me what I see myself at the end of the road. I wan to be able to influence people's lives. Then he said that it is definately possible!! Bill Gates influences people's lives... by being successful!! So that's wad I wanna achieve too.

Pictures of Saturday before EDT 1's graduation ceremony..

So SWEET right!! wahahahahaha!!

I'm currently a facilitator and speaker in training in DCP.. So time is really tight on my hands. Cuz there's training every friday and saturday. Eventhough it's xiong, but it's really fun and i really enjoy it! Just like how u enjoy ur work too. U'd sacrifice anything to make it work. I hope u understand.. Most of us dont have time to spare, but i'm always there for ya. It may not be physically, but i DO make time. So does the rest. Even if I cant be there physically, but know that I'm always behind u. The things u said hurt alot. Becuz i'm putting in effort into making this thing better too. I really wan to do all that I can to make ur business soar and help u prove ur worth. We all care for ya.. Please see it.

*hugs*

Good luck to all the peepz having exams now~!

CARELESSNESS

2006-08-17T23:46:00.000+08:00

oh my goodness..

This carelessness of mine is going to get me killed and bankrupt one day..

I ALMOST LOST over a THOUSAND DOLLARS today!!!! =.="

And seriously.. My professionalism and presentation skills need to be improved.. My Dad's a strong business man.. How can I be anything less? (:

missing muthus and vick alot. Cant wait to get my hands on Wy's new tees!! *^^*

And I've decided le ba.. Maybe I'll defer the Medicine offer by Monash until 2008. For now.. I wanna try TCM though I dont know if in the end I'll jump to either Universities for Business Management. I really need to improve my financial intelligence.

Uni sucks, but I'm glad to have my work in NTI, my muthus + linx, vick, the girls (minz fen lingz dora youwei) my friends in NTI and my family.. Kekeke.

As long as I have u guys, life rocks. (:

Decision

2006-08-16T09:05:00.000+08:00

I cant decide between studying TCM in Singapore and BeiJing or Western Medicine in Australia. ):

Help!

Medicine is security and australia is fun. Singapore is routine, I dont know abt Beijing, and TCM as alot of potential in research and even more potential cuz most western doctors are also looking into it too. ):

What about Sunday early afternoon or night, muthus? (:

Raining..

2006-08-15T11:49:00.000+08:00

Here I am..

It's raining outside and I'm sitting on the big couch with the laptop feeling all nostalgic about the past, present and unknown future..

I love it when it's raining.

I'm not sure when it started, but I started loving how each raindrop falls and bounces off the leaf of a tree. Keke. It's like when I step back and look at the entire scenery, it looks like a very big shower to cleanse the entire earth, with the winds howling, the trees sways and looks rejuvenated. I swear one day I'm gonna find myself a high high place on earth with nothing but big vast green plains and overlook the valleys and wait for it to rain. *grins* that's silly aint it? Kekekkee. Humour me people!

But really I do think that looking at the rain and just enjoying the breeze is so utterly soothing and evoke alot of feelings and reflections.. (:

I was just thinking abt what he is thinking right now.. I dont know if it's raining there. Maybe he is thinking of somebody else. Kekeke. I'm not sure what got into me recently.. A part of me wants to be all strong and independent and nonchalant about anything else other then my work. (fine. and studies.) It's all head-on and stubborn and pretty happy that she didnt fall into the normal category of people who let love affect their work. It didnt make sense to her to have someone else to be incharge of her emotions and feelings. As if - her happiness, her saddess, her tears, her smile, would all be because of someone else's actions. It means total loss of control of herself. And I hate that. I like being in control of my own emotions and feelings.

But there's also that small tugging part of her that sometimes feel so tired of bearing every single thing by herself. And that's the vulnerable part of her too.

He has to be warm and endearing, caring and yet not overly concerned. He's gotta be protective and posessive, but without making me feel as if I've lost my freedom and own control. He needs to be fairly romantic and gentlemanly, career-minded, professional yet loves spending time with his family and friends and me. And if I would to ask all that from him, he can ask the same from me too. Kekeke.

I'm feeling silly. Does that person exist? (: Kekeke.

I guess it doesnt matter because I have my work (and school. sigh) to concentrate on now. I'm aiming to help my guys and girls in NTI, and start earning USD100 every 2-3 days by end of Sept. *^^* Not alot, but it'll do la.

Oh. I've been accepted by Monash University for Medicine.. Next intake in Feb 07...

I desperately want to meet my muthus. Is everyone free this friday early afternoon? Yanny, Linx, hving exams? Wy wad time u gonna end work? hahaha. Chelz, yuwei, andy wad time do u guys end sch that day?

Some pictures taken during my first day of school. NTI had a booth in NTU, and some of them accompanied me for the day and crashed my lectures. *beams*

more updates

2006-08-13T09:21:00.000+08:00

1. Sweet Wy made a "yvonne" necklace for yvonne!! ;p Met her for a while earlier this week for lunch and bought 2 pretty tees from her Valashoppe. *^^*

2. Kena food poisoning in the FIRST day of school on Thursday. &*%#%@$#!@#* WTF man. (have u tired continuously LS-ing for TWO days, each day like 3-4 times??? I tell u it's EXHUASTING!!!)

3. Dyed my hair in a dark brown, and highlighted my hair MAGMA. Yep. Magma.

4. Missed interview for Speaker's Team and also EDT's Coach because of my stupid food poisoning!!! *sobs* Mr Calvin consoled that it'll be of no point if i cant do my best in this EDT cuz of my sickness anyway.. That if i wanted to be the best, i had better get better first. ): But still.. feel a little disappointed. Sigh. No matter. I'm gonna come back and make it even greater!

5. Found out that what happened at the beach that day was not all that I thought.. It's almost hilarious. Hahahaa!! Cant wait to meet up with my muthus (And I dread going to school!!) I wonder how are the rest doing in school and projects and exams.. mMm..

Came back from my Cherating Trip already. Hehe. Boy was it fun. *^^* I just wished that Ben had more fun too. Cuz that idiot didnt let himself dance cuz he felt he wasnt good enuff. I was v good either! Kekeke. My toes like attacking other toes. *bleah but i danced and performed anyway. LOLX! Met alot of Salsaros and Salsaras tthere. and the last night was most memorable for me. *^^* We had the honour of drinking and making merry with Salsa Sam of Malaysia! *beams*

Lingz and Fen and the rest at coy are going through a very stressful time period along with all the exams and projects that they've got to do for school.. It sucks cuz it really hurts to see them so stressed up. Argh! I've got to be a better manager to help them.. *hugs!!* I dont know in what way i can help with ur school work, but rest assure that i'll path the way for u guys and your guys in NTI. (: trust me.

Next update.. Apparantly.. it's the girl that has affections for Turrtle. And bloody hell I think Turrtle knew! (abt me) He just wasnt clear. Hahaha. But it's okay now, cuz i cleared the air already, and all's well that ends well. *^^* I suggested that this kinda thing really didnt bother me for long, n that I may be waiting for someone.. I wonder why is it that he chooses to be a little more cold towards me than others. I mean, I care alot of Mr Alexx, Mr Calvin, Mr James, and even poke fun at Mr Adrian and the rest. And they poke fun back. (Sometimes quite cruelly! SOB SOB.) But he's always the one being poked by me. mMm.. no matter ba.. I'm seeing a side of him that I've never seen before. Oh shoot. i still owe him $40 + $3 and his tee-shirt! i forgot!!

Hopefully I feel better enough to head down to company again later to give my moral support. Argh. My head is so bloody heavy.

And I still need to finish my FIVE tutorials, read through the FOUR lectures i missed, and read through the next FIVE lectures!!! *SOBS* I hate school can. Now I know why Mr Zen, Mr Yuanjie all chose to drop out of Uni. Min said that she wouldnt be surprised if me or mr kent and steven did the same too. I think i wouldnt be surprised as well. Hmm.

NTU

2006-08-04T01:31:00.000+08:00

shoot..

I duno how to register for subjects.. or even if i need to register for subjects in the first yr.. omg.

HELP!!!!

I thought I've seen my timetable, but I cant find it now..!!

*cries* Am i gonna miss school..? I dun understand how it all works!~ I need therapy.

can someone guide me??

Ministry of Sound

2006-08-03T13:10:00.000+08:00

Intended to celebrate Ling's and Dora's Bday at Zouk that night. Hahaha. But we all went to MOS in the end cuz Zouk was full hse!!

MOS wasnt too bad either la. kekeke. It's not the place you go to, it's the company u go with! :D:D

There were flashes of nipple and skin and breasts by many transexuals. But their figures is SOOoOOOooo great! *Envy*

Over 30 plus people came over to help celebrated Ling's Dora's and Yuanjie's bday. (:

Only went home around 5plus ba. Slpt over at Dora's place and overslpt! ): got scolded by mom. sigh. I really should learn how to time manage and make my parents happier.

I dont know if i'm upset or happy last night.

Truely happie cuz dora and ling enjoyed themselves at the company with the video clip, and went we went shopping for their prezzies, and they all looked so pretty, and dora could finally have ONE permission to go clubbing with us, and we have new memebers! And of course.. cuz I love dancing ma. And I realise that those guys that usually approach gals are either caucasians, or non-chinese. Hmmm. Got to know a SIA pilot ytd. *beams*

But upset cuz i wished muthus to be there, and cuz i really needed someone to talk to. I miss u guys!! :'{ Yanny, Linx they all exams starting le.. Good luck good luck!!

Really thank you guys for keeping this blog private! *^^* Keke. Thank you..

You know how sometimes u wish you could read someone's mind? How sometimes u really wish to know someone's thoughts so you can help that person..? He looked very troubled ytd. Cant ask why though. Everything inside me now is a jumble. I dont really wanna bother why is he troubled. Cuz I cant even begin to solve and untangle my own emotions first. And that really really sucks.

Everybody wants to be heard. But not everyone wants to hear.

That's why I refuse to complain. That's why I wont ever sulk or man2 yuan4 in front of anybody. Here's the only place, and muthus are the only few people I whine to ba! Kekeke.

going to leave for Cherating, Msia tml morning le.. will be back on monday afternoon. (:

Gonna miss u guys!! Hopefully can update while in Msia. (:

Cya..

Hmm.

2006-07-31T00:25:00.000+08:00

Having thoroughly thought it through.. What's the point..? (:

2 weeks ago, I wrote an entry about how I dont wanna end up like 3 of my friends who are enstrangled in a relationship. I know not all relationships are like this, cuz I'm really glad that my muthus are blissfully happy. But maybe I still havent been able to give myself a breakthrough in this area ba.

A lot of things have contributed to this decision..

Was talking to Youwei abt his past and how it's kinda haunting.. Seeing him like this is like seeing myself again a year ago. Phases from being upset, to disappointed, to sad, to angry, to reflecting, to numbing, to cold, to emotionless, to self-denial, to realization etc.. I know what it feels like. that's precisely the reason why i dont wan him or any of my friends to go thru the same thing that i did.

I am lucky that i finally got kaiboon outta my mind.

I'm lucky that i'm not unwanted.. there are people that likes me. Hahaha.

But I guess I'm not fortunate enough to believe and find someone's that mutual.

Kekeke.

I know someday that I will.

If you dont know what happiness is, you wont know what saddness is. And vice versa. We all feel the way we do because there was once we experienced the other extreme. Anthony Robbins wrote in his book, Unlimted Power, that sometimes we take so long to let go of something, or so reluctant to let go of something, is because we keep choosing to see only the things that we want to see. Because we have memories that were happy in the past, we keep believing that it's gonna happen again in the future - when it's not.

A relationship is only valuable if u "buy" it on every date, every rendevous, if u based ur emotions on what's going on now. Only would it be true.

So chim right. lolx. Took me some time too.

I joined NTI because I want to change to become someone that no one can reject. Told Youwei that.. and he understood. Not in terms of "no" or whatever, but in so much more ways than one. It originated from what kaiboon told me in the past a looonnngg time ago. That i was immature and naive and not good enough. I wanna learn to be "good enough". I know it's gonna be a life-time pursuit, and maybe i'm never gonna get there..

But i'm gonna keep trying.

Mom told me I'm not a Bionic-woman. hahaha. I cant want to do everything, and want to do well in every single thing too. But if i never try, i'll never know.. So that's why i wanna try.

Maybe one day i'll be "good enough". It's not for anyone, but myself. (;

Sting

2006-07-30T21:15:00.000+08:00

Sigh.

Rush down to Copthorne King's Hotel for performance ytd, and left my wallet in the company. Rushed back to company after 2 performaces, and left my handphone, ez-link and pouch at the dance studio.

Bcuz of that, i missed today's practice and mini performace, and couldnt contact Michelle they all to go out with them!! *sobs*

Sorry girls..

And couldnt msg Wenyin about her flea market too. )): (Sorrie i couldnt make it to support u!!! Really wanted to, but had to accompany my family that night!)

School's starting soon already.. Dont really look forward to it.

And with regards to the issue btwn me and Turrtle, I can only say that I'm leaving it be.. Cuz I really cant do anything. Eventhough it still hurts and sting a little, but i hope it's getting better..

I now realise the importance of NOT having a relationship with someone in the company. It's gonna affect a helluva of things, and if it's good, it's really good. But if it's bad.. it's really really bad..

I dont know how I feel about him. All I know is, I really only hope to give it ONE shot. and see if things will work out.

I've been making myself think more rationally, looking at the things abt him that i dont like, or try to see him in a more practical way. Think with my HEAD and not my HEART.

Maybe I just forgot how it felt like to be in love. or to be loved.

Post-Chalet

2006-07-26T19:00:00.000+08:00

The entire chalet is a huge success.. There was fun, games, talks, gossips, bbq, swims, everything.

I knew in the midnight of 25 Jul 06 and the early morning of 26 Jul was going to be memorable period, but it didnt really turn out as I expected. And it sucks like fcuk..

It's so hard to fully type down everything that I feel.. At the end of the day, I know now that I cant be with Turrtle.

He likes another girl.

Turrtle and her went to the beach together after we came out of the pool.. What really got me upset was the sight of them together.. I was walking the footpath to the beach with Mr Calvin when I saw 2 lone figures sitting side by side on the banks of the shore in the dim lamplight. Side by side.. and really close. At that moment in time, I still remember.. my heart cringed and hurted like fcuk. I know there’s no such word as hurted, but just gimme some leeway on the account that I really feel fcuked up now can..?

That was about 4/5am.. I couldn’t sleep until 6.30am. Luckily Ben was with me. I wouldn’t know what to do without him. Sigh. I teared a bit talking to Ben.. And fall aslp crying until 7.30am (1hr of slp!). Late for me UMAT test already….~

I woke up numb and slpy and confused and sore and really really really down.

It doesn’t help that my heart wont stop jumping at the sight of him.

Still feeling like fcuk, I called Yanny before UMAT.. Msged Vicky.. Wanted to cry my heart out. I wanna see my girls…! )):

I thought it was the worst possible time to do UMAT.. I dozed off reading the questions, and it took a bloody 2.5hrs to complete 110 MCQs. Sigh. I couldn’t feel any worse.

Still trying to numb myself, I walked my way outta RELCB, walked a long way before I decided to talk a cab home.. What a sight I must have been.. lugging a ton of chalet bag, my shoe bag, in oversized shirt and shorts.

Forlornly I walked, struggled to balance all the bags and called my mom at the same time.. I poured out the gist of the happenings to my mom.. Wanted to breakdown but I didn’t.

Talking for just a mere 5 minutes with my mom really helps.. She makes a simple sentence mean so much.. “You’re still young what. At least you know now, and not when you are together with him.” Maybe I felt a wee bit better..

At home, I slpt more due to mental exhaustion then physical exhaustion.. I didn’t had anything to eat since last night’s BBQ, and I really felt empty and hollow. Ignoring the feeling, I slpt. Every time I close my eyes, I’ll see again the visual I saw early in the morning. Every time I close my eyes, I imagine them laughing and talking to each other. Sh*t.. It hurted like crazy. I was afraid of even closing my eyes. Gosh imagine that.

Woke up restlessly and knew I had to drag myself to face reality again. Not feeling any better, I showered, changed routinely, and boarded the bus and train.

On the train, I really felt lost. I couldn’t call Vicky, I was afraid of calling Yanny cuz she had school. Wy was busy with attachment and Vala things.. Didn’t wanna bother her already.. and I didn’t know if Chelz or Yw was busy..

On the train, I realize I could see the visual without even closing my eyes. I admit, it was my own fault that I allowed myself to like him and allow myself to think that he even liked me. But what’s done cannot be undone. It just hurt to know that he likes someone else… I wanted to cry.

Still all physically, mentally and emotionally tired, I carried my shoebag (dance rehearsal) in my arms and lugged my purple crumpler on my shoulder down the MRT path at Raffles Place. By then, it seems like I was oblivious to everything that was around me. The rushhour people, the smiles, the chatter, the noise, everything seemed hollow and empty.

Maybe it was because of that, my eyes welled up and I sniffed them back. Going down the stairs to Exit F, I was already sniffing and holding my breath to hold back tears. Then all of a sudden, I slipped on my heels, and dragged my calf and shin down the stairs and landed with my legs folded beneath me halfway down the stairs.

The physical pain was startling and excruciating…! But it gave me a reason to cry. So I cried and sobbed. (You girls will be glad that I didn’t wail like crazy woman..) I just started tearing and couldn’t stop. Even the poor guy that helped me up was shocked that I was crying! Hahaha.. I think he didn’t know what to do… not that he could have done something to mend my heart. The poor guy didn’t even know that the emotional pain was even greater than the physical.

Sorry I made the guy look back every few seconds to see if I was alright after that..

I hobbled my way out of the station, past the insurance building, past Lau Pa Sat, slight bleeding on the ankle and bruises on my calves.. And I still couldn’t stop crying.. It felt like a broken tap.. I just wouldn’t stop. Holding my breath and pasting a slight smile on my face, I pushed the door open to my company.

I threw down my stuff, and went straight ahead to find Grace Lao Shi. Auntie Grace and the rest took a look at me and started to shower all sorts of concern and words of comfort to me. Auntie Wendy and Jacie went to hunt for cotton buds and medicinal oil to dress the wound and bruises. Seeing them bustle and coaxing all over me like that, I smiled but also cried harder at the same time. They are so sweet and caring…

Auntie Grace dressed the wound, and talked to me over massaging the bruise on my feet. So nice right…? *weak smile Apparantly she know that it was my heart that hurted the most, and who it was hurting for. Kekeke.. and they say women are intuitive creatures.. I agree.. Maybe she really knows who he is.

Auntie Grace they all then did their best to cheer me up and consoled me.. Admitedly, I do feel a lot better after their pampering. 6 aunties all pampering over a little me~! Maybe it was because of the concern and love I felt from them that made me feel a little better abt my situation..

Anyway.. when I see him now, I no longer feel the urge or need to please him or get his attention. I’m more of myself now, after talking to the Aunties and Yanny.. (Thanks yanny!!! *hugs!)

I just talked to Yanny over the phone after I come back from Dance Prac.. She suggested something that I really felt is right.. Suggested for me to be selfish for once. I wanna do that too.. Maybe when it is at the right time, and when there is a chance.. I know now, it’s kinda impossible, but it doesn’t hurt to try. And I know if I don’t try, I’ll regret it later.

Now I’m feeling much better., Cuz I know what I should do now. How I should react now. I’ve kept all the negatives and raw emotions into this locked thick metal box in my heart. Everything else outside the box is for my friends and family. As long as this box remains closed, I’ll be fine. It was my fault that I forgot what was inside the box, and took the chance to open it again recently. Now I promise not to let it happen again so easily the next time..

Protect yourself Yvonne..!

Jia You. (:

Pre-Chalet

2006-07-24T18:31:00.000+08:00

How can you expect me not to hope for some miracle to happen during the chalet?

My imagination is running on a hightime wild. Yvonne u're thinking too much. Waaayy too much. Why is it that guys are SO different from girls? Both genders think so differently, and yet can be attracted to each other. That's just plain odd. )):

Found out ytd that Turrttle had many ex-gfs in NS. Hmm. Thanks to my smartly disguised questions. Kekeke. And that he chose work over a girl earlier in the year. Right now, my heart feels like that metal ball in that arcade game that used 2 parrallel rods to balance the ball. Feels like it could just drop into the dark deep pit with a loud resounding "CLINK".

Will this chalet make it for me and him? Hmmm.

Missing the girls. Have got SO much to share. And I think I'm addicted to clubbing. Oh no.

After Tonight - Mariah Carey
I look at you looking at me
Feels like a feeling meant to be
And as your body moves with mine
It’s like I'm lifted out of time

And time again
Patientiy I've waited
For this moment to arrive

After tonight
Will you remember
How sweet and tenderly
You reached for me
And pulled me closer
After you go
Will you return to love me
After tonight begins to fade

I feel your touch caressing me
This feeling's all l'll ever need
With every kiss from your sweet lips
It's like I'm drifting out of time

Alone will tell
If you feel the way I feel
When I look in your eyes

After tonight
Will you remember
How sweet and tenderly
You reached for me
And pulled-me closer
After you go
Will you return to love me
After the night becomes the day

Time
And time and time again
So patiently I've waited
For this moment to arrive

After tonight
Will you remember
How sweet and tenderly
You reached for me
And pulled me closer
After you go
Baby will you return to love me
After the night becomes the day
After tonight begins to fade

Bugis Junction

2006-07-22T20:20:00.000+08:00

Turrtle knew that I was pissed with him!!!

We all went out to Bugis to buy some chalet stuff. Been ignoring him for some time now. So he ignored me back in turn. Kekeke. But lucky him! At least he had the gentlemancy to carry our heavy BBQ stuffs. ;p

It ended to be just me and him back at Bugis Junction. He was wearing formal, and lugging 4 heavy and bulky red plastic bags and BBQ wire guaze. LOLX! What a sight!! He refused to allow me to carry the lighter ones. Hahahaa.

It was damned funny. (: He kept trying to say lame jokes and make me laugh. Reluctantly, I did really laughed. Cuz it really was funny!! Funny faces and stupid one-liners.

I needed REVENGE.

At the perfume counter,

*picked up Ralph Lauren's Style*

Me: This is one of your most popular fragrances right?

*spray spray*

Salesman: "Yup it's one of the most popular female fragrances. Along with Blue and Romance." (:

"picks up both Blue and Romance*

Me: Oh really?? *beams*

*Spray spray and SPRAY somemore on Turrtle!!*

Turrtle: *stunned* "Er. Female."

Me: "Yeah I know." ((:

*Spray Spray Spray*

Turrtle *jumps* and cuz his hands are handicapped with the heavy bags, he's defenceless! He just stares blankly at his chest while i continued spraying him with various fragrances.

Turrtle: "feemaallleee~"

At the Sheseido Counter,

*picks up pink nail polish*

Me: "Very nice colour!!"

Saleswoman: "Yes it's one of our hottest selling!"

Turrtle: "Oh! Men also can use ar?"

*idea!!!*

Me: "Of course can!"

*grabs handicapped hands of Turrtle and painted his thumb pinK!!*

Me: "Ahhh.. So sweeet!!" *^^*

Turrtle: *stunned speechless*

At the Loreal Counter,

*made fingertips pink and blue with eyeshadow*

At the escalator down to Cold Storage,

*drags fingertips across Turrtle's forehead*

Hahahaha. He tried very cutely to bring his fringe down to cover the 2 stripes of purple and blue cuz I didnt allow him to rub it off. ;p

I got pissed off when a ice-cream counter man took pity of his state and gave him tissue. lolx. I picked all plastic bags up and lugged off by myself in a very auntie way, and left Turrtle behind in the sympathy of the Bugis Junction ice-cream man.

He caught up in a while, and jumped out behind a column with greentea ice-cream. *smile* And the oddest thing he did was to try to soothe me by feeding me greentea ice-cream. Lolx.

I stormed off to Coffee Bean, and ignored him once again. He ignored me too. Hahahaha! What a game. When we were on slight talking terms again, I asked him if he knew that someone was pissed with him.

He said he knew!! Quite duh cuz I've really been ignoring him and being cold towards him. Hahaha. But he didnt know why. I dont know if it was really that he dont know, or that he just wanted me to say it for him to hear. Keke.. But I didnt say it in the end anyway.

At the end of the day, he allowed me to colour his face again, took a few pictures, and had me wiped it off for him before we went to coy. ((:

TODAY! #&^$&*#@^$&(#%^*#$

Found out that someone else may be attracted to him too. Sigh. She invited him to stage to dance with her. And bloody hell he looked very happy to do that too!! )): I know I have no chance to be jealous, or petty, nor do i have the right to. But I just do.! )): And It's not a very nice feeling too.

Someone asked me from behind if they were together. I couldnt get my eyes off them. 10 seconds felt like 10 hours. I vaguely remember shrugging and hving a blank mind.

At last I couldnt look anymore, I couldnt hv looked for more than 20 seconds. I stepped down of the chair I was standing on, and came out of the training room.

Turttle came out shortly after. I couldnt look him in the eye and let him see the pettiness, the jealousy. So I chose to ignore him briefly, and refuse to catch his eye.

It was like he wanted to explain, he said, Wha kena sabo-ed again by people inside. AGAIN?? You mean this is not the first time??? SABO-ED??? U looked like you were enjoying yourself!!!

So I was like, No arh. Go inside to have fun lah. Couldnt be bothered to talk to him. )): NOooOooOoooo~!

But I did temper down on the jealousy. NoNo Yvonne. NoNo. You dont have a right to be jealous REMEMBER?? It just might as well be one-sided. Sigh.

Girl looks obviously interested in Turrtle. Me too. If she likes Turrtle too, I really dont know what to do. ): What if Turrtle likes her back too???? *shakes head!!* >.< She's a nice girl.. But I like him too.. Sigh. How will I know who does he like...?

I'm up to my neck in school activities, dance, practices, performaces, rehearsals, appts and trainings!~

But enjoying every moment of it. *beams*

*^^*

Butter Factory

2006-07-20T21:05:00.000+08:00

Went Clubbing with Mr Jackie and many people from the company ytd to celebrate Mr Jackie's birthday. Lolx. FUN. Ah. But that's not the main thing that I wanna blog abt today..

I'm so f-ing angry and pissed and GREEN!!

I must admit, the following would make u guys who are reading this feel that I'm being ridiculous, but believe me, it seemed perfectly sensical at that moment in time when the thing happened.

I know our purpose of going to the club. It wasnt only for celebrating Mr Jackie's birthday. But seeing him so close to woman in red bare-back halter makes me see red too!!!! &^#&*%$@#^($*@&#)

And the f-ing thing is, that 2 lovebirds look like they are enjoying themselves!! aarghhh!~ Woman in red was hugging him by the waist. Whispering into his ear. Leaning so close to him. Almost lying down in his shoulder. Laughing at his jokes. Making him smile. Ffffffffffffffffff......

And there I was, staring at them from behind. Trust me it wasnt like ouch-so-sad-i'm-so-miserable-my-life-sucks stare, it was more like oh-my-god-the-audacity-of-that-woman!! Okay. So I was JEALOUS. I know I dont have a right to be. ARGH! But I am. And it does seem pretty ridiculous and petty to me. Sigh. Gimme a chance k.

So i was like, "Fcuk.. I wanna make him jealous too!!"

Tearing my way to the washroom, I untucked my crisp purple and white stripped tailored tee, unbuttoned it to air my ~~belly~~ ~~tummy~~ STOMACH, knotted it at my rib cage, and strutted my way to the dance floor again. (&*^&$%^#$^% that idiot!! Flauting ur female-charming skills in front of me!!! 2 can play the game!!)

A wee bit drunk and naive me then dance with the rest of the collgues. They must think that I am drunk. >.< WADEVER!! That Turrtle still has the CHEEK to come to me and smile"I got her namecard. Yup, her name is A**l** Yang!!"

Thanks. I feel SO much better. =.="

I refused to dance with him. I refused to look at him. I refused to talk to him.

He's smart.. I think he got the hint. That I was ignoring him. I think he just dont know why..

Dance dance dance.. Then suddenly I felt someone dancing really close behind me. *turns around* WHA!! Guy trying to brush up behind me and dance with me. &^&*$%^$%*&@^*# (I'm not in a bloody good mood and you sexually disorientated male homosapien is trying to do WHAT?!?!?!)

In turning around, I saw him looking in my direction too. He had that "wha." look. It looked a tinny bit curious and what's-going-on look. (AH-HAH!! 2 can play the game!!! U had A**l** Yang right??? I also hv my own male version of that sheep!)

Yay. So I continued dancing with sexually disorientated male homosapien, while eyeballing that Turrtle.

Turrtle's expression (from what i can conceive in the dark and revolving lights) evolved from what's-going-on into something darker and more solemn.

*smirks* Victory! Half the battle is won. But I lost in the sense that I still felt jealous. Why do I feel jealous?? I dont have the right to be!! But I still felt it. So I lost that battle.

Ignored Turrtle for the whole of last night and up to today. Sigh.

Gonna meet him tml again.

How can I put it across to him that I felt JEALOUS when I dont have the right to, and without embarrassing myself?? *sobs* YVONNNNNEEEEEE!~!~ You're p.a.t.h.e.t.i.c.

And school's gonna start soon too. You might lose him to the hot females in his Uni. Big SIGH.

2006-07-11T01:00:00.000+08:00

Liking the wrong person..

It doesnt mean that the person is a bad. Hahhaa. It just means that.. he's too much in demand.. and competition is great.
Argh..

I dont know where to start, or what to expect.

All i know is I've got to get rid of this feeling.

Stop liking him.
Stop thinking abt him.
Stop caring abt his actions.
Concentrate on what's important.
If it's meant to be, then it will be..
If it's not, there's someone else in the future.

Yvonne is EMOTIONLESS!!!

Jiaaa YouuUU~ *^^*

Protect youself

Recognition Seminar

2006-07-10T02:11:00.000+08:00

Recognition Seminar!!!

It was a BLAST!!! Hahahaha. PICTURES PICTURES PICTURES! Will post them once I've gathered all of them. kekeke.

Seen me in a smart coat and pants before? Dun have right!! hehe. Ah but u'll see once I post pictures later. *^^* It was so damned bloody fun and inspiring!! Who would have thought that a company dinner could be so muhc fun? And it only happens once a YEAR. I was bloody lucky I fighted hard enough in time for my BAM to go up as a manager. *^^* Thanks to my girls + Youwei in NTI. Hehehe. I promise never to give u all up as long as you dont give up on urself!! ;)

OH. I drowned a BOTTLE (milk bottle mind you. Pacifier and all.) of black Guinesiss Stout. Did I spell that right? hahaha. Waaaay silly. For a competition that made me and Ling a bit high. My virginal Guinesiss. WAHAHAHAHAHA~!

Played with cake and cream on Mr Calvin and Mr Kent. Toopid Mr Calvin got ALOT on my hair too. *sulks*

Pictures later. ((:

~+*+~

Seeing how 2 of my friends get so tangled up in the web of infatuation, I wanna promise myself that I dont want to be like them too.

Do you know how heartaching is it to watch someone you like from a distance?
Not knowing what that person is thinking,
Trying to read his thoughts from his every little action,
Hoping and crossing fingers everyday that he or she may pay a little more attention to ya,
or take notice of you.

Some people say it's nice to be in love. I think it's nice too. But that's only when it's mutual. Some people dont mind unrequited feelings. they just wan to be beside them physically and stuff. But I'm not like that. I like mutual understanding. I like more actions den words. I like to feel free and loved at the same time.

But now I only feel that I may let these emotions get the better of me. So I'm gonna supress them. I dont wan to end up like my 2 friends, always wondering, always on their toes.

If I can, I just want to focus on my team in NTI. Fen is leaving in 2 months, I must make sure she has already a capable partner, and have a steady network le. ((:

Now, I'm just surprised at my "emotionless-ness".. He may like someone else.. But if he does, I hope I never finds out.

updates~~

2006-07-07T09:59:00.000+08:00

Updates...

1. I got promoted to a Business Associate Manager. (((: Officially on the 08/07/06. (Tmr!!)

2. I got my matching coat and pants at G2000 ytd.

3. Feeling better then how I felt in the last post.

4. Gonna sign a contract with Groove as a Performer. *^^* (Watch out for many many performances and events!!)

5. Missing the girls. ((:

Was so stressed the last few days thinking abt how i should get abt my BAM.. Was wondering if the feeling I have is just a competitive edge and resulted in some form of idolising of him.

Went out with him a few times le but there's like absolutely no *spark*. Sometimes my heart just flutters a little harder and faster when he smiles (or when he frowns or when he grins or when he smirks or when he blinks ;pp), BUT I couldnt feel that burst of fireworks or the heating up of my face. =.- Or can it be cause I'm asking for too much of a fairytale? HMMM.

As a motivation to myself, (on TOP of all the nice nice incentives that Mr Kent and Mr Calvin throwed at me LoLX!) I promised myself to tell that person how i feel after i've secured my BAM.

Now that I've secured my BAM.. I still wanna GAO BAI *screams*. Ah but i wont. I'm actually still very conservative u know!! I always think that guys should take the first move, eventhough sometimes girls can take the initiative too. BUT NOT IN THIS CASE!!!

I wanna tell - cuz it's irritating to think abt it all the time. I know it's gonna make or break, and most likely break, but i stupidly think that i rather have it broken now, then fall deeper into this web.

So now.. I think I wont tell him alr. Cuz i dont know if it's idolising or infatuation or a real liking. (: so it'll be better to keep things simple like now.. JIAYOU YVONNE!!~

I'm a BAM now.. Gotta be more steady and not so kiddy!! *^^*

Till our network's chalet on the 24th of this month. ;)

Havent met the girls for... A MONTH??? that's really really long.. )): and i cant meet u guys tonight too cuz i've got to take appts. ANYONE FREE ON SUNDAY NOON?

Kbox

2006-07-04T01:13:00.000+08:00

Today havent been a very good day for me..

There's just so many things on my mind...! Up to the extent that someone had to ask me if i was okay when i was crying softly at a fastfood corner in Raffles shopping mall.. *shakes head* that was so embarrassing...

I miss my girls.. Havent seen them for so long!! 3 weeks I think!! *sobx* and I miss vicky toO~

Went to kbox with minz n dora they all after I felt a little better.. Seeing them so happy and cheerful also made my day.. haha..

I must learn to control my emos.

I learnt today that you cant depend on anybody but yourself sometimes.. That's why I'm so lucky to have a bunch of girlfriends that will rush down to help me just on a phone call.. *hugs muthus* keke.. and ferny too.. she's always there for me eventhough i'm so busy.. :x

I totally hate this new feeling.. I know it's not mutual.. At least, I dont think so. Eventhough everyone ard the both of us thinks otherwise. It's not a new feeling, but because it's been so long since i felt it.. I dont know how to handle it like i should. so that i dont think unneccessarily, dont worry or be over concerned abt matters..

One thing i cant stop thinking about.. is what you're thinking abt.. I'm reminded of myself sometimes when i see ya. That's not a very good thing.. I hate to feel like this towards you. I hate this new feeling. I just wanna focus on my career and studies for now.

It's not ur fault. Stupid. it's mine. But i dont know how to prevent it. sigh. But I will. Really.

BEM + NDO Champ

2006-07-03T11:44:00.000+08:00

Celebration of Kent's promotion to BEM, and my getting of NDO Champ at Club E~ ;p

Shopping in Chinatown for cloth!! Tailor-maded 2 shirts! Pretty!!! Will show it to u guys when it's done. *^^*

Guess who?

Shopping in Chinatown~

Justin the HCJC-PSC Scholar gg to UK end of the year. *^^* (cannot tell right!!!)

Cool with Shades.. Lolx! The both of us were trying to act dao. O.O

SteamBoat at our club..

Mr James and Mr Calvin~

Company Photowhore!!

2006-06-22T23:54:00.000+08:00

Rodney!! Our very own DOCTOR in training! :D

Kent ((:

Huimin!! My primary school fren. :DD She's da bezz

Kent Kent

Alan! Hahha. A kinda blur but very nice person :D

Minz and Mr Calvin and I!

Mr Dickson. Bubbly and joyous! ((:

The pretty counter aunts that help me alot alot! And Kent taking the picture for us in the background. Lolx.

Ms Tiffany and I. A very very efficient and competent girl! :D

Went to meet Kelbecks, Nick and Bee for dinner.. keke.

Monkey Business

BBMS?? ;p

Narcissism. Lolx. Pardon me. I'm happy today. ;p Cuz I got my $470 MontBlanc pen (a gift from the company!!), my pretty namecard, and a huge bunch of people that I love working together with. Keke. *hugs!*

More pictures and updates coming up about GuangZhou. Lolx!! Stay tuned!! Promise to have alot of comical shots and oddities.*winks*

GuangZhou Day 1 & 2

2006-06-17T18:32:00.000+08:00

Gosh..

Do you know that Cyber Cafes are a rarity in GuangZhou??? Took me a whole bloody day for me to find a erm.. 56k modem. =.= Maybe I was looking in all the wrong places. Lolx. But it still didnt stop me from SHOPPING!!!! Spent near to about SGD$400 so far. :x

I cant help it if the things here are so inexpensive!!! Well... Disgustingly affordable. ;p But there are so many other downsides too. Below is a list of idiosyncrasizes that I observed since my arrival here in this city yesterday.

1. The women here are VICIOUS!! Even more vicious then their fellow homosapiens, the Men!!! Every 10 steps u take, you'd see someone arguing. And it's mostly females!! ALong the way back to the hotel last night from shopping on BeiJing Lu, there was these 3 women shouting in the middle of the road because of some small pedestrian/moving vehicle matter, and one almost slapped the other!! SO exciting can. -.-

2. The things here are bloody cheap. DUH. But beware my dears.. If they know u are not local, they will rise the prce by ALOT. I bought a dress quoted to be RMB400, for RMB180. And it's NOT even the lowest the dress can go!! Cuz I bought another dress at RMB50. Is this crazy or wad. =.= Some other locals even told me I could have gotten the 2nd dress at RMB30 or 40.

3. You could have free foot reflexology. Why? Because the road and pavement is so full of potholes and loose pebbles and stones and BOULDERS to give you that exercise footpath our own government spent thousands to create. You know how some people walk with their eyes on the ground because they are shy/introvert? Well, over here, I look on the ground because I dont wanna drop into a pothole or step on a used condom or dirty diaper. DO YOU KNOW, there is NO　scafolding on buildings that are currently undergoing construction. I mean. Where is the contructions gona fall if they lose their footing??? OH GOSH..

4.You cant wear high heels here. Cause it'll just make you look like a clumsy oaf walking about the endless potholes and dirty diapers. Ew. And you dont need to buy platform heels too (though nt v popular now,) cuz the wet cement on the floor will contribute to ur height once it dries on ur soles.

5. The air here is so dirty, ur nose dirt is BLACK. U remove ur foundation and realise that the cotton wool looks GREY. Oh gosh. *shakes head* I'm gonna have a breakout here. OH. And did I mention that although the air here sucks, the guys here are kinda cute?? But I always wonder why is it that the cute guys are only on the buses and not in the shops. The salegirls here also wear makeup like phat. Their eyeshadow is a helluva thick brightly coloured eyeliner. (: no Blending, no duel colour, just... like it was painted on.

6. Crossing the road is dangerous. The locals drive when it's read light, pedestrians cross when the car is right in front of them. I'm surprised I havent seen anyone who almost got knocked down yet. Hmm..Scary. Crossing the road in GuangZhou is like an adrenaline rush.

7. All salesperson here are commission-based. That's really sad!! cuz this 2 women had to fight over this customer. My mom. lolx. Apparently my mom had the tai tai look. I didnt manage to sneak a photo of them shouting at each other, but I did manage to snap them in the middle of a 'calm negotiation'. ;p No wonder IP wants to open China's market. What they can pay to the people here, are much much more than wad they are hvaing now! and most of these sales person do not have education de. I asked one, and she didnt even know how to write her home street name. Hmm..

8. Movies/DVDs piracy is a biiiig thing in GZ. I had the pleasure and amusement of watching a group of pirated VCD dealers' products being confiscated. It all happened so quickly!! First someone shouts "POLCE!!" in cantonese. Then those dealers with a wooden box cum makeshift table/store would snap their head up towards the sound, and simultaneously slam the hard wooden box with loud BAng, regardless of whether your fingers are inside and end up intact or not.

Lolx! I have more to update and pictures to share! Ah but I gtg le. Going to ShenZhen tomorrow in the morn. (: *hugs* take care guys!! Missing u girls and Singapore! (: Mm.. there's someone else I miss. but I doubt it's mutual. I cant wait to be back home.. keke. cya girls..!

Recognition Seminar

2006-06-15T00:08:00.000+08:00

I'm not gonna let Kent go to Recognition Seminar alone. Lolx. I'm gonna make sure I go up on the stage as a BAM as well!!

:D:D:D:D Support me girls!!

Yayness!! Party and lovely celebrations tomorow night! *kisses*

Congrats on passing your driving Fern!! WoOhoO!!

Something's Stirring..

2006-06-13T22:05:00.000+08:00

Went to visit Ben after NDO Graduation on Sunday (Yay Champion~ ;p) Ben's got high fever! But he dont behave like a sick patient at all. Kekeke. MOnkey~! ;p Ah. anyway, I'm such a nice person tt's why i visit people when they are sick. WAHAHAHAAHA!!! ;p

Celebrated Huimin, ShiXiu and Kent's birthday at Club Empire yesterday.. Kent was masked with cake and butter and cream and more. What a sight!! HAhahaha. On the same day that I received the NDO Champ, he was promoted BEM. Yay!! Shung Xi Ling Men. *^^*

Sadly me and Ben were late.. Had private lessons at Groove with Anasri. (: I'm determined for the both of us to become really really good in Salsa before we go Cherating! :D

Went to office today for my girl's appt on the morning.. But it was postponed due to unforseen circumstances. Kekeke. Still, it was a fun fun fun fun day cuz Kent and I went to Suntec to have lunch and buy his Dad's bday gift. Hahaha. Visited ShiXiu too. In the end, we both end up shopping half the afternoon away. :x Wahahahahaha!!!

:x dont tell anyone i posted this pic. lolx! i'll be dead tmr!

I love being in NTI. Love the people, love the new friends, the education, the knowledge, the experience, the money, the teachings. *^^*

You have to be there to experience it. ((: You cant feel my happiness and excitment on a few words in the blog.

~*+*~

Anyway, read Jeremy's blog!!! http://jerjerjer.blogspot.com ((: Read abt his fairytale Anniversary, his sweet boyfriend and loving actions. *envious!!*

Yay yay yay meeting my girls on Thursday!! :D:D:D:D:D

Pissed Off

2006-06-10T22:14:00.000+08:00

I realise something the last 2 days..

I get pissed off when anyone talks to me abt BGR in my life.

I mean seriously I dont know what's wrong with me.. When my girls mention it, it's fine. But when anyone else does, I cant help but feel angry. )):

Let's quote an example.

1.
Uncle: Are you sure you want to keep a dog? You'll have to have lots of time. And you know Benjamin (my sis's current Jack Russel) is super jealous. What if they fight?

Me: I'll do my best to promise they wont fight. And you know I'll make time. Sure I have my dance class and everything, but it doesnt mean that i cant take care of a pet??

Uncle: Okayy, maybe you can find time now. But what about when you go into NTU or when you have a boyfriend? Who's gonna look after Benjamin and your new pet?

Me: What has a boyfriend gotta do with my pet?? And fyi, I dont intend to have another bf THANK YOU VERY MUCH. AND, I know I can handle University and a pet. I'm not spastic thankyou. (I added the last sentence as an afterthought. I didnt really say it out. :x)

2.
Daddy: So what did your medicine interviewers ask you? What questions did they pose?

Me: Normal questions like "Why choose medicine?" or "What other options you have other than Med?" or "Tell us more abt yourself" that kinda..

Daddy: (I know he was trying to make a joke. But I didnt think it was funny.) Ah! They ask you have boyfriend or not ar? How many you have is it?

Me: *Glares at Daddy* Pisseddd offf..

And a few more occurances in my family that I dont wanna bother to type out.. =.=

I was seriously pissed la..

What's wrong with me...?

Dance dresses

2006-06-04T02:40:00.000+08:00

I wanna get 2 dresses for my the Cherating Dance Congress in August!! Which of the dresses below do u think is the best? ;) Please give your comments!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

Spending $$

2006-05-29T13:50:00.000+08:00

pictures that i owed. Hahhaha

went to JB a few days back and bought soOoO many accessories and belts and this very very pretty sun-dress!! Everything was okay la. Rather cheap, but the dress cost like RM180.00 =.=" But it's really very very nice! hahaha. next time can wear out with my girls. :D

Spent so much! Then ytd spent another SGD$250 at the Suntec Book Fair on Scrapbooking and Cardmaking thingys. whaaaaa.. *headache*

~+~*~+~

Was reading some of Jeremy's archives just now. Kekeke. Is it just him and roy, or is every gay couple so sweet and loving? I cannot think of a more perfect match in the world for Jeroy. Lolx. They just sound so good together, look so good together. Especially when Jeremy posts pictures of him and Roy together, and blogs abt their arguements and precious moments. How come it's seldom seen in Heterosexual couples? I seldom hear of infidelity among gays or lesbians. But it's so common-held in the more ordinary relationships. That's kinda odd and strangely disappointing in it's own sense.

It's not that I dont believe in hetero relationships anymore (please I'm still straight!!) it's just that i feel that homosexuals have the better part of the deal sometimes. Lolx. it's more emotionally fulfilling! cause guys will be guys, and girls will be girls, and it's easier to understand the same sex than the opposite.

When I was having lunch at Time Square in JB the other day, I saw this young couple (Hetero!) in their school uniform holding hands. It's nothing much, you can say. But the sight brought back memories and evoked feelings that i've forgotten. It's not just them holding hands in their school uniform. Every couple u see in orchard road clasp their hands together all the time. But it's different when I saw the JB school couple. They held hands not because of formality or propriety. keke. some may think what i'm gonna say is silly.. but it's true. it felt as if they held hands because they couldnt let go. It binds them together and each feels as if it's the only normal thing in the world, and each felt as if he/she was holding onto a treasured prize or trophy. I know because that was it felt like before.

Once you have felt this kinda feeling, it's never gonna get out of your system, and you're never gonna forget it. I daresay it only happens once in your life. :x mostly when it's your first love (hearye hearye. not first relationship, not first boyfriend. it's first love.)

Other relationships may feel comfortable, may feel happy. But only a few, or only ONE will feel Xing4 Fu2. Blessed. (:

Sad to say, it's really rare for the feeling to be exactly mutual.

I'm not afraid of falling in love. I'm just afraid that I'll be disappointed and that I'll compare future relationships to the last. That's not very nice of me is it..? Hahaha. It's just.. I'm still confused. (:

It took me so long to build this wall to protect myself, I'm not gonna let anyone tear it down or try to penetrate it's foundation. Nono. An1 Quan2 Gan3 Shi4 Zi4 Ji3 Gei3 Zi4 Ji3 De4. Only you yourself can give yourself a sense of security.

Until I meet my girls again! *smiles*

Major Change

2006-05-25T01:55:00.000+08:00

Mom showed me something last night that's gonna change alot of things in the household...

But I dont want it to change..

I wish my girls were here. ):

I'm SO not looking forward to the 26th..

What would the change mean to me?

bacck

2006-05-22T13:52:00.000+08:00

*sweeps away the cobwebs on my blog*

okaay.. so where did I disappear to? I miss my girls. I miss dancing and clubbing and television and doing odd things to my hair and nails!

Been busy with training, dancing, performance and driving. Gosh. *reminisce* I promise to take a break after this week, and hang out with my beloved girls!

Vicky is coming back in june too. ((: I cant wait..

I wanna see Darkchoco's craft things and tees, I wanna gossip and swoon over cute guys with Chelz, read comics with Yuwei, wanna go gymming with Yanny and congratulate her and her darl in june for their 1yr anni, hug my dear angel Linx and go shopping with our shopping khaki Auntie!!

It's been so long! (It feels much much longer then it really is.) *sobx*

Kiss - Because I'm a Girl (Korean)

Kiss- Because I'm a Girl (Chinese)

Recently I've been hit by a bout of nostalgia. Esp about our secondary school days. Kaiboon, the frequent gossip sessions with Zhu in class, complaining abt a particular PE teacher, lunch time with my girls (bee hoon without tau gay!), yuwei's fetish with Maggie Mee, Andy and Samuel's singing in class, Mel's blur "huh" and her Shi Jie Mo Ri, and Linx's and I's list of ranking guys in class :x (oops!)

That was all before. What we have now is a 8-5 job, no allowance, no shopping spree money from mommies and daddies, less time for each other. Well.. Poly students also still have their school, but they also have their never-ending projects, tests and deadlines to hit. So also hv less time for each other. Sigh.

It's all these and other reasons that I'm so determined to open a small cafe of our own in the future. It aint gonna be easy, but I wanna do it. (: Where I can have a small area for dance practice, another corner for Wy's and Linx's craft thingys, cosy sofas and armchairs and quaint tea-things for everyone and anyone to slack and foster friendship in.

Arh.. Miss u girls..

NUS rejected me for Med. Gave me my 2nd choice of FASS. I wanna go NUS.. but NTU has a double deg waiting for me.. I cant decide. And I was so down that day when I saw my posting results. Sigh. I really do wanna do Med..

~+~*~+~

why are u doing this to yourself..? so you lost 10k in at casino last month.. and lost a 38k in the last 3 months.. i dont know where u get your money, but i'm sure a part of it comes from ur parents.. Dont u feel guilty abt it at all..? Maybe u earned the money.. but then again, why choose to lose it in a casino..?

something's bothering ya.. what is it? why tell me that u're no longer an alcoholic, only to become a hardcore gambler? i dont know what's going on in ur life.

what are ya trying to do..? who are u trying to worry..? why support a gal that is obviously trying to make use of ur money?

I dont like ya like that. (spend MONEY on ME, I DONT MIND!) but why knowingly, stupidly lose it to a casino?? i know u're not the sort to be stingy with your money. But it's not good to be that extravagant too!!

what's gg on in ur mind..?

They say love makes a girl weak. I think so too. But I wouldnt call it weak. Maybe it's... vulnerable. But tons of girls would their anna sui green concealer to be vulnerable and to be cared their love. I'm one of them. Hahaha. Love makes me weak. And I dont really like it.

BrokeBack Mountain

2006-05-15T14:14:00.000+08:00

SO SAAAADDDD!!!!

I expected more lovey dovey, but I guess guys will be guys.. their PDA is mostly shoutings/yellings/bloodynoses/whoring/tumbling in the sheep pasture on Brokeback Mountain.

Still, I think the show's nice. kekeke. And I know why is it R-21 le!!! Cause there was a flash of boobs here and there. Now I wonder if Jack Twist and Ennis were really pure Homo or just Bi. They can get aroused by their wives too u know. Got kids somemore. Though I find Ennis's wife a little hyrestical. So what if Ennis is a little gay? But of course, I symphatise with the ladies in the show.. They loved Ennis so much but Ennis only loved Jack. And the sad thing is, Ennis didnt know how to express himself to Jack! And in th end, he still didnt get to tell Jack his feelings.

One thing to be learnt; never, never delay in expressing to someone how much u love or miss or want her/him. Cuz u'll never know if there'll be a next time.

I miss Taiwan, I miss Japan, I miss NZ, I miss flying all over the world and living in absolute carefree-ness. haha. I miss my girls, mel, andy, linx, vick, bett, zhu and tina. ):

I wish I had more than 24 hours a day. Hahaha. Dance more, work more, shop more, go out with my girls more.

Gosh do i miss them!

2006-05-10T14:11:00.000+08:00

Okaayy.. Havent been updating for a while. Okayy. For a long while. I can see the beginnings of cobwebs on the edge of my blogskin already. *ARgh*

Anyway, the last 2 weeks has been really busy for me. Hee. Fighting for BE bonus ma. ((: And I did it. Yay.

I miss my girlfriends! Thank goodness we're meeting this friday night. Hehe. Let's all find a cosy restaurant to chill and catch up!! Any suggestions? ((: And I need to shopP!!!

Reminisce

2006-05-05T13:42:00.000+08:00

Lisa Wati Zhu~

Kekeke. Just talked to her on msn just now.. Gosh I miss her soOo much! It's not just zhu, but all the fun times we had in secondary school too. Assumption English School. Hahahaha. Who knew such a place infamous and notorious reputation (i'm not flaming!) would bring me such wonderful friends and memories?

I met Lisa Zhu when she just came into 3/1 in 2002. I dont remember how it was, but it soon appeared that we were made to sit beside each other for the next 2 yrs already. ((:

My first impression of her was just a pretty face. Kekeke. But later on I found this lil zhu to be made up of more warmth, care and concern and maturity and understanding than anyone I've met of her age. We shared everything from boys to gossip to shopping and everything under the sun! Eventhough she's older than I am, but she never misemploy it in her personality or speech. That's why people who has the fortune to know her are immediately drawn and naturally attracted to her. keke.

I remember us hating PE lessons (I think we were the only 2 girls, and yanxiu that absolutely loathe PE lessons then!), complaining abt it all the way, but still changed and still ran the distance. And zhu always ran faster than any of us eventhough she didnt like running! And she was one of those few people who could run a mile and still look pretty drenched in prespiration. lolx! It's really endearing. And I remember us running 2.4km, den immediately retiring to the benches to drink water or just to gossip. (:

One or 2 years older than I am, I always looked up to her as a senior (eventhough I dont act that way!!) but then again, it's hard not to look up to her as a senior as she always does better in her studies than I did. And whenever she has the free time, she'll pick up a textbook and just flip and read through the day's work. *smiles* Keke. Sweet and hardworking isnt it? I had several 'role-models' during my O lvl period. keke. Yanny, Chelz, Yuwei, and undoubtly also zhu~ hahaha. If it werent for them (everytime i ask them to nt study, they ignore me!), I wouldnt have chiong-ed for my o lvls too. Bah. Not that I did very well anyway. keke. But they were a source of motivation for me.. *beams*

Zhu and I will always, always get scolded for talking to each other in class! Especially by Ms Koh, our SS teacher. Hahaha. Cuz we're seated beside the OHP, and she always uses it for her lessons ma. Lolx. Those were really the days.. Confiding everything and anything to each other, with BGR problems, movies, family, girlfriends, soOo many things. And she always have all these cute cute things around her! Her pencil case, her stationary, files, and even the covers of her textbooks! kekeke. If it were some other people, others will think it's silly and childish. But I think it fits her bubbly and jovial and warm personality very well.. Lolx. that's why everytime i pass by a stationary shop these days and I see a cute pencil or pen, i'll cant help myself but buy it to send to zhu. I have some sort of a small collection now, but I still havent sent it to her! I must remember to do it soon! humpf. :)

One of the few times i went out with her was to Far East Shopping Center for Esteler 77 for her roommate (another time was marche i think. keke.). Hahhaha!! I didnt really wanted to go, but she sha-jiaoed until I had to give in. Kekeke. but i'm not complaining! It works you know. She'll shake u gently on the arm and go, "ZhUuUuuuu~~~~". Sometimes you just cant reject her lor. So i didnt that time. Hahaha. And because of that, I found a new quaint and delicious eatery. ((: The Bakso soup and Esteler 77 drink was delicious. And even more delicious with good friends and company. *smile*

It was heartaching when she left to study in SF. Zhu didnt even got to attend out Prom night! :( And we didnt take alot of Neoprints together too. Now why didnt camera phones come out earlier?? Humpf! It's difficult to always keep in contact, but i dare say that eventhough we cant talk very often now, but we'll always remain close at heart. (: We're the Big Zhu and Little Zhu remember? kekeke. *hugs* Miss ya alot Lisa Wati Zhu~ Take care and we'll soon all go to LA to look for ya. *muah* ;)

Homosexuals

2006-05-01T23:46:00.000+08:00

Dammit.. I think I love gays. hahahaha. I'm so pro-gay!! I approve more of guys being together than girls.. Cuz guys in love are usually longer lasting than gals in love. kekeke. Call me a sucker for love. But truely. I think it's really sweet. ((:

And it sad to say for us girls, gays are usually a lil bit more good-lookin than straight guys. :x Or maybe it's just those that I know. Hahaha. Die la.. If this continues, no straight guys would want me alr. Lolx.

Looking at Chris/Nicky and Colin/Kero's blog, I cant help but think that there's really something very alluring and very 'awww...' about 2 guys being in love. Hahaha. Just chk out their respective blogs, and the following MTV by the Twin brothers, 2moro.

Best Friends Forever!

2006-05-01T21:51:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the lack of update!!

How many friends do you have that will rush down immediately to help a friend in need...? kekeke.

I'm blessed.. I have five.. ((: I love them to tinny bits and pieces..

Yanny please get well soon!! We'll go out again on friday. Hee.

So glad that the misunderstanding has been cleared..!! *hugs* you guys are sooo important to me. What will I do without you all? hee.

Went shopping today.. Bought THREE pairs of heels, SEVEN CDs, and a wallet for my lil sister. ((: I love heels can?!?! Heels = Confidence. Muahahahahha! Esp for short people like meeee.

So bloody busy at COY. But I'm loving it. I just wish I have more than 24 hrs a day. And wish I could have done more.

Watched Aquamarine with Kenneth today.. It was aokay. Nice chick flick, but the moods of the movie changes so suddenly!! I still love Take the Lead. *beams* Bought the soundtrack today. Dirty Dancing 2's soundtrack is better though. ((:

Will update sooon.

Cheers to my girlfriends. :D BFF!

from bett's blog

2006-04-25T09:57:00.000+08:00

This is from Bett's blog. Keke. WATCH. ((:

Bett's Blog2

2006-04-24T09:51:00.000+08:00

Five Songs Which You Know All The Lyrics Right Off Your Head Now?
1. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
2. Baa Baa Black Sheep (I cant remember Rock a Bye Baby!!)
3. Cant Take That Away - Mariah Carey
4. Cant Fight the Moonlight - LeAnn Rimes
5. Some Jay Chou songs la.. (;

Five Things You Would Do If You Were A Millionaire
1. Go on a all-expenses-paid SHOPPING SPREE!! (All over the world!!)
2. Buy dream home(s) - Home Movie theater, swimming pool, jacuzzi, the works!
3. PERSONAL concert by Jay Chou. :x
4. Bring my parents all over the world to have fun
5. Donate to Charity. ((:

Five Bad Habits
1. Lurv sleepin in
2. Spending $$ unnecessaily
3. So not feminine
4. Complaining
5. Whining

Five Things You Like Doing
1. SHOPPING (u dont even hve to ask)
2. meeting my friends. (((:
3. DANCING
4. traveling
5. reading with a good cup of coffee in hand.

Five Things You Will Never Wear, Buy Or Get New Again?
1. those granny underwears =.=
2. odd tops with chains and pins and linglinglongslongs all over the place.
3. those skirts that are half shorts?
4. tops that flare below ur boobs and make u look fat.
5. cant think of any liao

Favourite Toys/Things (not putting people cus they're not things)
1. my masked Samsung Z500
2. my ANNA SUI ltd edition HP!
3. my ANNA SUI imported (sigh. so bloody difficult to get) wallets!
4. my hair
5. my makeup (thank God for the invention)

5 People You Want Them to Do This (Sorrie peeps! ;p)
1. STAFA
2. SAMY
3. ZYNA
4. BABA
5. ANGEL LINX

FRIDAY FRIENDSHIP DAY

2006-04-23T09:42:00.000+08:00

21 April 06 (FRIDAY FRIENDSHIP DAY!)

Went around JJC (so many times already!!) and finally caught sight of Mr Koh our P to give me a signature on my new testimonial and application to UNSW.

Then rushed down to town to meet my girlfriends and andy for dinner. Heex.. we made poor Andy stay back with us for dinner. Causing him to miss his cell.. :x Sorrie Andy!! Kekek. But it wouldnt be the same without ya!!

Like Yanny said, it's a really heartwarming day/night. ((: There's nothing better than good food and even better company of friends. *beams* Pictures are courtesy of Pina Colada. (Thank you!!) Which reminds me, I need to get a camera!!!!

My favourite shot. Like family portrait!! ;p

Had dinner at cafe cartel (gosh.. the crispy combo for 3 is really crispy combo for 4 or 5!!), and then slacked at preview lounge. Mm.. Nice ambience nice cushions. But the man servicing us spoilt alot of the mood. ^&%$%@$#^#*(&%.

At the end of the day, I love them and I love them more into tinny bits and pieces. ((:

22 April 06, Sat

Twas Grandma's one year death anniversary.. The realisation hit me with a pong. Has it been a year already? It's so freakin fast..

Rushed down to COY to attend the first NDO lesson. (((: So officially I'm in a competition now. Must fight fight fight!!! Our groups's name is called EQUINOX! , named after the restaurant in the high tower. Wahahahahah! Cool or cool? ;p Jason (equinox!) came up with the idea. The next 6 weeeks are gonna be heeeecccttiiicc. Sigh. Almost ALL my evenings will be taken up by lessons and intensive trainings. But I'm looking forward to it too. There's just SoOo many things to learn.

These 6 weeks is gonna kill me. ((:

oh. and when i got home exhausted at 10plus last night, I saw the letter from NTU.

I've been accepted in BIOMEDICAL SCIENCES/TCM (double degree)!! (((: and there was no interview at all!!! Wahahaha~

EVenthough it's not medicine (NTU dun have med!) But it's still an honour.. Thank you NTU!!

TAKE THE LEAD

2006-04-20T22:28:00.000+08:00

WATCH TAKE THE LEAD!!!!

Freaking brillant I tell you. The cheographed dances, the sexy salsa, the hot latin, the romantic waltz, EVERYTHING. Dont think it's just ballroom, people. There's enough of Hiphop and RnB to keep punkasses on the edge of their seats. (((:

If you love to dance, you'll love Take the Lead. It's the next best thing after Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights!!

I'm gonna get the VCD. ((((:

Watching the movie made me feel like jumping up on my seat and shaking to the music and remixes. I SO love their dances and their moves. *beams*

CHELZ!!! We must be like them asap okaiee!!!

Check out the sizzling hot poster. ((:

Click to go to their official webby!

And YES, Antonio Banderas's accent is SUPER sexy,
YES, Sasha (Jenna Dewan) is a brillant dancer (I wanna dance like her!!)
YES, the last dance scene is HOT! Off-the-stove, Volcanic Eruption HOT!! (I wish I knew who the cheographer is!!)
YES, I wish I could dance like that
YES, I wanna watch the show again
YES, Chelz and I are in love with the show and dancing
YES, we're crazy abt the show.
NO, I'm not gonna stop babbling abt it soon. (I CANT STOP!!)

Been Busy..

2006-04-18T10:53:00.000+08:00

Gosh.. Been a week since I last updated.

Mm.. I dont remember much of last week. I've got check my organiser. =.= really it's so bloody hectic now that I sometimes forget what I have to do in the afternoon!! Everything is in my organiser. Awww..*hugs* my precious organiser!! I'll be lost without it. (:

Okay let's recall. See,
Last Wednesday, 12 Apr 06
I met Linx, Yanny and Chelz at Raffles Place. (: Went to makan at Raku Ninja at the Republic Plaza. Nice ambience, good food and reasonable prices. GO GO GO!

And then I went sadly for my last Salsa Intermediate Class.. I'm going to start Beginner's 1 @ Groove again with Ben Tai today. &%^^$#$#$%^&%(&^ make me pay more for refresher class. aRgh. :/

13 Apr 06 Thursday,
I dont remember what I did during the day. Oh! I handed in my 8 reasons to Daniel at COY. I think. Or was it Tuesday? OMG.. ?.? I'm losing my memory. Anyways, it doesnt matter. What I do know is that KaiBoon came back today. Needless to say, I was affected by it. Well.. But I realised that this time, i was not as emotional as I was the last time. (: Cheers for Yvonne~..

Ah But i still went drinking with Benjamin at Holland V. (Ben Tai! not the dog at my hse. (((: ) Whaa.. That was like midnight? Drank and drank until 2am. I'm telling you, DONT OVERDRINK. I was drunk okaie. And you know what's the worse thing? It's being DRUNK and SOBER at the same time. WHY? Because when you're drunk, you are not suppose to feel anything. Just plain HIGH. But when you're drunk AND sober, you can feel ur bile coming up ur oesophagus and ur throat. (*puke*) and you dont feel high at all. Just feel like puking but cannot puke, and cannot walk properly without feeling dizzy. >.< Horrid feeling. I was betting on getting a hangover the next day.

Anyways, at 2am KB msged me to ask if we wanna meet. Truth be told, I want to. But I told him that I was drinking with Ben and may go home later. He said he's done at Darren's place and would meet me at the park. I didnt really think he'll be there.. It's so bloody late. But behold.. there he was when I reached home at 2.45am.

He said that he didnt know why he came back. Before, he was saying that he came back to meet his parents and to buy a pool cue. Can u imagine?? A POOL CUE?? Fly all the way to Singapore? *laughs weakly* It must be one heck of a pool cue.. Oh btw, he decided to splurge on a POOL TABLE in their hse in Aussie, and he lost approx AUD$10K at Crown Casino. Now why didnt he just throw the money around? At least other people would benefit from it. =.=

I asked him why he wanted to meet me. He said duno. Just "want to meet lor". Okay. Typical male answer. And it's so frustrating!! I mean. What does the males wants us to think...? Sigh. *headache* Now you all know why I'm getting so much WHITE HAIR???

I told him that I'll be flying to Aussie on the 14th of April to look for Sijie and look at universities for 2 weeks. He believed. ((:

14 Apr 06 Friday (Happy good friday!!)
Lo and Behold again.. While being drunk and whoozy and vomit-ty last night, I also slpt only at 4am. Woke up at 8am feeling a hell lot better, (SURPRISE!!! No hangover *^^*) TA-DAH and met Tina and Evelyn at my hse. I painted and decorated their nails for them in prep for Zouk's Bday Bash on Saturday. (((: So funny. After we "masak masak" for a while, we played with hair and tools and curling irons and magazines and nail decos, we all fell aslp on my bed. =.-

Cant really be helped you know, it was raining outside, I turned up the aircon, my comforter was comfy, was in the company of good friends, my sheer purple curtains and the darkening sky outside made it all a serene and VERY tranquil environment to sleep in. Hahahah!

Mom later brought all of us and Yanny as well, to Muthu's Curry for late lunch. *YUM!!* I tell you, the sotong there is NICE. So is the Naan, and the Curry Fish Head, and the lime juice, the Masala Chicken, everything!! *drools* I wanna go there some day with Muthus and Linx and Andy and Mel!! :DD

And then, Yanny and I met Michelle for our shopping spree!!! :DD I wanted to buy formal tops and pants and shoes for NDO, ended up only buying a pair of shoes and pants. But nevertheless, the company of my girls makes it all worthwhile. ((: and furthermore, we played with makeup all over the place!! At Anna Sui, Shu Uemura, Face Shop blah blah. Truckload of gunk and colour and shimmer on our faces. :DD

Had dinner at Pepper Lunch, (DINNER, at Pepper LUNCH? Oxymoron. lolx!) Witness a impatient and very un-chivalrous act of a man awaiting his food. Tsk tsk tsk. Where did all the chivalry went to? ))):

Oh btw, these are my nails. (:

Hit the Balcony @ Heeren after dinner. I love that place! *^^* If only the music wasnt so loud that it's difficult to chat with your friends. I love our gossip sessions.. Kekeke. Esp when it's all girls and you can blurt out anything, vent anger, frustration and share problems. (((: BFF~

Night Scene at the Balcony @ Heeren.

15 Apr 06 Saturday,
That day, I earned ~1.5k at the company. ((:

16 Apr 06 Sunday,
I dont remember!! Oh. Driving lesson. And I went down to the company to collect some stuffs. kekeke. And halfway through a lesson there, Mom called and said that I received a letter from NUS stating that I have been shortlised for the Medicine Interview!!! :D *Jumps for joy* There was nothing more I want then to go out with my girlfriends to celebrate then. :p I know it's just an interview, but at least they gave mee a chance!! and I'm gonna do my best to convince them that I WANT TO and MUST DO medicine!! :D *oh goodie*

Then met Jason and Cheng Kiat and Kwang Kiat at Suntec along with Ben and myself. Had dinner @ Fish and Co, and dessert at Anderson of Denmark. (Where else would i go? ;) )

17 Apr 06 Monday,
Woke up early in the morning to prep myself and my testimonials and all the applications for Australian Universities (Melb U, Monash, UNSW, Uni of Adelaide, Uni of Western Australia).. So busy! Sigh. By 2.30pm, I was almost done with my To-Do list, and bored half to death. I cannot stay in the house doing NOTHING. I'll just wither and fade. And I have until 7pm to meet the company at Bugis for Steamboat.

So I met Kaiboon at Taka to complete my shopping. I still need more shoes and tops. It's so odd meeting him in the day. It's like 2 different persons. At night he'll seem insecure but affectionate. In the day in public, he'll be cold and arrogant and unemotional and unfriendly. It's so tough holding a conversation with him.

Shopped around for abit, and he wanted to have Japanese for dinner. I was like Okay, maybe Sakae Sushi or something. But NoOoooo. He went to this high classy Jap restaurant at the Top floor of Taka, and ordered a DOZEN salmon Sashimi, and a SGD$70 Unagi Don. I merely ordered Teriaki Chicken and Chawanmushi. And my stupid don alr cost SGD$28!!! ^%%#@%#^&* Sure I like spending money. But I'd much rather spend this kinda money on clothes and accessories and other stuff then indulge in overpriced food. =.= Eventhough I wasnt the one paying, but I still feel the pinch. Hello!~!~ What kinda Unagi costs SGD$78??

Every meeting with Kaiboon is sure to begin with a quarrel. Sure enough we did quarrel in the start. But hell, it's not like I'm not used to it. So fine. Quarrel lor. To be honest, I was a little disappointed at his cold and anti-social veneer. And it showed on my face. It's not like I can hide emotions easily. Most who knows me will know that. And so arguments arise.

But later on, when he went into Tiffany and Co. to take a look at the Atlas series, and I went to look at the Mesh ring series, he got me this.

I was like "huh...?" I liked the ring.. but I didnt want to get it because it was too expensive (Well there's another more expensive one with studded diamonds at SGD$3,800 *eye pops out*). And I never expected he would spend so much on me. Sure he bought me a few things the last time he came back and we went shopping together, but that wasnt he's own money. He had some vouchers then. This time around, he just whipped out his card and signed.

A part of me want to reject because it is so not ethical at all. He's no longer my boyfriend... I'm not of importance to him. So why should he, and why should I accept the gift..? But another part of me remember losing my dignity, pride and respect because of him. I wanted to do SOMETHING to get any of those back. Sure it's all coming back slowly, (abeit VERY slowly), but still wasnt enough. And I also truely like that ring..

All these actions of his, coming to find me in the middle of the night, coming back to Singapore when he usually wont, treating expensive dinners/lunches and gifts, how does he want me to interpret all these? I asked him, and he said. Nothing. Dont think. You already have an opinion of me, and I cannot will you to change your opinion. So now what..?

Am I suppose to think that he did all these because he likes spending money? and that it's not just me, but all other friends of his are also given the same treatment? or is it because of his guilt? I refuse to think that it is because I am still of importance to him. i refuse to think that way. Because I know it's not possible.. We dont/wont/cant have a future together. So why linger..? So I'll just follow his advice, I'll take if he has to give, and I wont think. Read nothing, nothing into his actions.

*oh btw, all picture are courtesy of Yanny, Pinacolada. (Pina colalda is a cocktail!!! HAHHAHAH!! i finally found it!! :D )

Afriad

2006-04-11T10:44:00.000+08:00

This sucks so so so much. So many things to do.. I thought I'll be free-er after my dance performance, bu then up pops other commitments. Maybe going to accompany Ben take up Salsa Beginners 1.

And there's NDO, there's Salsa Intermidiate lessons for me too, maybe Exotic Module 3 soon, and then there's the preparation for SAT, iSAT, UMAT and PQA (do you know there's SO many examinations to take just for applying to UNis? *headache*).

I've only settled my application to Australia partially. And then there's UK and US application as well. ARGH!~!~!~ and you know wad's the irritating thing. The applications for the Universities have different datelines, and the pre-requisites for the different universities are different, and hence the tests required are different too!!!! *more headache*

I really ReAlLy REALLY want to be in Medicine. I really ReAlLy REALLY want to be a Pediatrician. But I'm not even confident that I'll be shortlisted for an interview (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!! *fingers crossed*). And I dont really want to be a financial burden to my parents when if I go overseas to study. (SO FREAKIN EX CAN!!! almost AUD300,000 for the entire course! and it doesnt include lodging etc. In UK even worse. SGD500,000!! *faints*) So please please.. let me have a chance to study medicine in Singapore. :{

*HEADACHE HEADACHE* I need to RELAX. I'm stressing myself. and I'm crapping and whining online. sigh. NOT GOOD!

Relax girl. Pioritize. Organise. (*^&$@#&%@*^!%@#! I ran out of pages for my organiser. ARGH!~!!!) I desperately need retail therapy and a massage.

Updates ; Groove Social Night, DXO with girls!

2006-04-10T09:03:00.000+08:00

No time to blog!~!~ :D but loving everyday of my life.

The highlights:

6 Apr 06, Thursday; I dont really remember wad I did.

7 Apr 06, Friday; Daddy's Birthday. But he didnt celebrate, and I went to Groove Studio to practice for our dance performance the next day at Gallery Hotel!! Met my girlfriends at Cityhall and headed straight to DXO. :D We were lucky!! It was Ladies' Night, and free flow of housepour all around. *beams* Hv you tried Whiskey Ribena before? NICE. Esp when u're with your girlfriends; who takes pictures of the toilet, of us sitting on the toiletbowl, girlfriends who do things for you that that they dont like but still do it for you anyway. *^^* I love my girlfriends!!

8 Apr 06, Saturday; Groove's first Social Night at Gallery Hotel. It was a BLAST. There were workshops for Reudo, Bellydancing, Social Salsa and Reudo Dancing, dance performances by Hip-hop dancers from Studio Wu, Reudo and 2 Exotic dance routines by my seniors and US! :DDD~ Benjamin Tai was nice enough to drop by to watch our performance!! Yay~! Eventhough the crowd wasnt as big as ADS, but it's only our FIRST. It's only going to get bigger and better. *^^* I cant wait for the next Social Night!! Will try to post up pictures asap. All of the Social Night, DXO with girls, and the night I went out with Ben's friends. :))) Look forward!!

9 Apr 06, Sunday The only day I had to slack. hahahaha! Went to borders to indulge myself in books, and than followed my parents to causeway point for dinner and I bought this super nice Hot PINK quilt Cover with sequins!!! It's so ultra soft can!! *beams*

Now Reading;
1. Anne Rice - Merrick (Paranormal Horror)
2. Laurell K Hamilton - Cerulean in Sin (Paranormal Horror)
3. Kanami Minako - Honey and Honey Drops Comics (very nice!!)
4. Forgotten Author - Wolf (Psychological Suspense)
5. Forgotten Author - Just One Bite (Vampiric Comedy)

Universities

2006-04-05T22:41:00.000+08:00

I admit I may seem nonchalant at times regarding many important matters.. And I really do need reminders when I go into the 'zombie' mode. But hate people telling me that I cant do this, I must do that, why didnt I do this, why did I do that!

I know also.. I'm kiasu. Who the hell takes up volunteer work, study, dance, drive, work, club and STILL wanna find time for friends and family and APPLICATION TO UNIVERSITIES?? I'm sorry.. I cant explain myself why I wanna do so many things.. It's just me. I dont like to sit at home with NOTHING to do. I wanna gym, swim, read, do funny art and crafts thingys, talk to my parents, fool around with my siblings, quickly learn driving, practice dance, take up horse-back ridding and beading BLAH BLAH. All of them are of importance to me. But I know how to pioritize.. It's just that sometimes, I'm so caught up with the current thing I'm doing that I forget abt the others.

But it doesnt mean that I'm irresponsible right? I just.. lost my way for a while. Am I finding excuses for myself? Sigh.

There's just so many things I wanna do. So many things I wanna accomplish. That's why I'm kinda glad that I dont have to deal with a boyfriend right now.. Sorry but please understand.. I have too high hopes, too many bad experiences, too many things to do. I wont make a good girlfriend..

ARGH!~!~ So many things I need to do!!

NTI

2006-04-04T11:57:00.000+08:00

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SLEEPY!!! *grumble grumble grumble*

Went out shopping yesterday with Gwen. Hehe. Went to Sheer Romance to buy this ultra cute and cheap lingerie~ :p And we found out how bloody hard it is to find black fishnet stockings.

Afterwards went to Club Empire with Ben and his frenz. (: Crazy but fun bunch of people. Will post alot alot of pictures tonight.. There was this one particular guy.. I cant get him out of my head. aRg!H!!He's very cute in person, but he dont look too cute in pictures. Hah. But maybe it's due to me having weird tastes. :p

ICHIBAN BOSHI

2006-04-04T11:49:00.000+08:00

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		10
Physical Touch:		8
Acts of Service:		5
Words of Affirmation:		4
Receiving Gifts:		3

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Really bored. Havent had time to update recently. Let's see..

Big event last week was our all females Night Out last saturday with my girls. Keke. Ichiban-boshi is really a nice place to have dinner! Yanny was right. The ambience is soOoo nice!! But due to unforseen circumstances, we couldnt go to DXO. There's was a SNAG party that night anyway. So we'll be going this friday night instead! :D

Compliments from dear yanny. :D





That night was also my first night at Club Momo. I didnt know it was so near central mall. Hahaha. But it definately isnt as fun as Zouk.

And I did promise pictures of my colleagues. Kekeke. I just realise that office have alot of people.. And these are not all.




That's Edwin! One of the rare guys that appear inside the call centre.

Ahh.. I miss the people there already. But I certainly dont miss the job. hahahah!

Been hanging out with Ben Tai alot lately.

And of course. I miss Tina~ *^^* I miss Japan and Taiwan as welllll... *sulks*

It feels like the start of my holidays, eventhough it's been 4 months since A lvls ended. Mm. I know travelling outta have counted for holidays, (it does!) but maybe my idea of a 'holiday' is slacking at home, watching all the movies/dvds/korean dramas/taiwan dramas that I have missed out for so long, and having time to sit down and think about all the things I've planned to do before but havent been done yet.

For example I've wanted to be a volunteer at a hospital or MCYS or even take up a short course on computer skills after A lvls. Among all the things that I've wanted to do since A lvl ended, I've only done 3. Travel, meet up with my friends, and join dance class. I still have *counts*

1. Horse-back ridding
2. Volunteer work!
3. Gymming (Frequently!)
4. Taking various computer classes (Sometimes I think I'm a computer idiot.)
5. Foot Reflexology
6. Hmm there's a few more but i cant remember.

And on top of all that, I wish I still had enough time to practice my driving, dancing and meeting my friends. ): My mom says I'm only one person. But I wanna do alot of things WHAT. Call me kiasu. Keke. But I really do miss my friends alot. That's God's present of a family that you met outside your home.. (:

Anyway, Groove (the studio i'm taking my exotic dance lessons from) is holding their FIRST Social Night on the 8th of April @ Gallery Hotel. I'll be performing with 3 other girls. Keke. 2 of them are teachers!! And one of them is working at Crazy Horse. *winks* If anyone of ya is interested to see what Salsa, Exotic or Belly dancing is about, check out the website @ http://www.groove.com.sg. And if anyone wants the details and 'how-to-get-there, what-to-do-there' information and promotions and updates, please TAGBOARD me, or EMAIL me, and I'll send ya the invite and details. :D

And to be fair to my Salsa dance studio, here's the website as well. Attitude Dance Studio @ http://www.asiasalsa.com (: Gupson's a really strict but professional dancer.

Gonna go shopping with Gwen (my dance partner!) for our costumes later! (: and meeting Ben and his company people in the evening for KTV. More pictures later! *^^*

How many people can you stand with at a 'counter' in 7-eleven drinking apple tea and lemon tea and orange juice without feeling uncomfortable...? (:

Narcissistic. *smile*

Playing a fool

2006-03-30T08:15:00.000+08:00

I dont know if it's meant to be, or it's just someone playing with me. Why is it that everytime... okay. analogy. I DO believe when one door closes, another opens. I see that open door now. shoot. But the closed door didnt close fully too.

Maybe I just want that suppose to close door to close fully and locked away. Maybe I dont even wanna see that other door opening. Hmm. But it always happens. Everytime I make a decision, something occurs to make me falter in that decision. Sigh. So frustrating. That stupid partially opened door just wouldnt stay shut.. It's there for u to peep through it, but never enough to actually go through the treshold.

I guess it's just human nature. When a door fully opens to you, u can see whatever u want to see. So it's no longer intriguing, one no longer feels the urge to explore the world beyond the door.

Hence the attraction of the partially opened one.

+*+~+*+

Anyway, look at the pretty girls I worked along with at Suntec last weekend! :DD

This is our 'boss' with the girls. (:

WeiMing and the girls..

Acting Blur together. Keke. Raining balloons!!!

More pictures here

truckload of fun. (((:

ANNA SUI!

2006-03-29T21:49:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow's my last official day at work at MOE..... I'm gonna miss the people there for sure. Hahaha. (but i'll always dislike those complaining Chi*a SPRs!! COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN!!)

Will post pictures of my collgues tomorrow night. (:

Anyway, new Hangkyu sent my NEW ANNA SUI LIMITED EDITION PURPLE WALLET!!!! yay!!!! They told me it'll only arrive on the 20th April, but it's here already!!! :D:D:D:D So excited!! hahahaha. I cant bear to throw my other anna sui wallet, but I cant wait to use my new wallet too! ;p see see see.

Pretty isnt it?? :)))))

OKay the pictures are in opposite cronological order. Sorrie. :p blame imgbucket.

A few days ago, a loonnng time friend made me aware again of his affection for me. The next night I was talking to another girlfriend. She asked me if I was afraid that I'll be left on the shelf. Truth behold, yes I am. But I'm even more afraid of falling in love.. Ask me if I miss having my hand held by another. Yes I do. Ask me if I miss leaning on a sturdy shoulder. I do too. I remember how it all felt. But I also shudder at the thought of my happiness being so dependent on another person. Soo.. I'm definately enjoying my singlehood now. Being in love is a nice feeling. But it also makes you vulnerable. I wanna be strong.

I'm exhilarated that my besties and other friends found their partners. I just wish some of us didnt have to drift so far apart.

Met up with WeiMing again on last Saturday and Sunday.. He came to have dinner after work at Suntec on both days. (: Made a promise with the 2 durians of Esplanade as witness!! Hahahaha!!! Lame la. Aye. But it is really a motivation. Keke.

At Fish & Co.

Hahaha. I dont know if it's because I'm fair, or he's dark.

In the cab.. He's so shy!!

Met up with my pretty besties on Friday night.. Only yuwei and linx couldnt make it cuz kpmg had to OT our dear angel and yuwei went to club for the 1st time!! :D:D but kpmg is so ^%%#@@!#@%$#$^#@$. Torture our poor angel. Humpf.

Will post up pictures tomorrow night. Hahahaha. Took alot of pictures with them *^^*

Ahhh.. I miss muthus+linx and tina and jia and ANDY!

and i'm going GYMMING with yanny this saturday. yes. GYMMING. you heard me right. (:

Japan 06

2006-03-23T08:45:00.000+08:00

This is the FIRST time I can breathe through my nose in 2 weeks. *sniff*
US's Universities semester starts in SEPTEMBER 2006!! And registration ends on JANUARY 2006!!! How ridiculous is that? Some people havent even took SAT yet. Doesnt that mean that those anxiously awaiting entry to universities have to be aloof for 8 months? ? *shakes head* If I'm going to US I'll have to start in EOY 2007. My goodness..
Japan is FUN. *^^* Keke.. Having Tina around just made it even more fun-er. *XOXOXO*

We went to DisneyLand Tokyo, Hotspring Arima, Sandbath, Shopping, Magazines, Nail art designs and CUTE guys!!! :p Okay. Chk out the pictures. Hahaha. Pardon the photo-whoring.

See my mom and dadd. hahahaha. So "O-biang". Wahahahaha!

My mom getting tachopachi for me and tina. Hahaha. So nice right. *^^*

Look at the pretty window displays.. All those are necklaces bracelets belts u know!! Look like a waterfall of gems and pearls..

At Grand Arima hot spring hotel. Pretty tibits and green tea.

Awww.. My mom and dad's so loving!!! :D

Family Portrait. ahHh! *hugs* I love my family. (:

20 yrs of marriage and still so sweet. keke.

My siblings.. notice how Joanne slouched to accomodate my height. Lolx!

Picture taken outta stupidity. Hee..

The moon!! from the window pane of flight SQ989. Absolutely beautiful. Cant tell from the pictures, but during a moment in time the moon seemed to be just infront of you. (: like you could reach out and touch it.

My brother's erm.. embarrassment.

Some funny pictures I took while on the train in Japan. Koochi-koochi-kooo..

My mom pretending to be the Japan Fortune Cat with the big smile and waving paw.

Tina and I woke up early in the morning to curl my hair. Kekeke. I bought curlers the size of a CLENCHED FIST. :DD

And my sister asked me to take picture of the guy on the left-hand side. CUTE mehx??

This wonder machine makes Hashbrown, Hotdogs, Tachopachi, Chicken Wings, French Fries. Amazing right!!

Male Social Escorts for rental. :D Chk out the outrageous price for 1/2 an hour. 3,000yen = $50 for the FIRST time only! that means subsequent times is more expensive. omg.

Anyway one of the guys look like Jeff Wang. Shuai okaie. Hahaha!! It's so bloody interesting to see them advertise the males with their pictures everywhere on the streets. Females too!! Like they're some kinda thing for sale liddat. Lae-long lae-loonnng..

this big bear is like the trademark of Japan.. U see it everywhere u go. Lolx. I think he's a C-cup.

I took this picture in the train. Scary? kekeke. She's holdin onto the mannequin's head and curling her eyelashes and eyeshadow-ing for her in the train. Hahaha. bOo!~

The Next Car is Only for Women. Isnt that great? :DD

The Japan Viagra for man in liquid form. At least.. that's wad i think it is. Hahaha. Click on the thumbnail and make ur own decision. (:

SNOWING!!!!

See the pictures that we took of the sunset while in the bullet train. Very pretty.. Click to enlarge.

And now for some photowhoring

Photowhoring photowhoring~!~! *^^*

Lalalalalala~

TAIWAN PICTURES

2006-03-09T22:20:00.000+08:00

I know I prommised TW pictures.. But I'm sorrie!! I cant find the other pictures!!! ): forgot at which com i left them at. Sigh. So these are the few first. And I dun have time to update the things that we did at TW too... ): Cuz tml gg to Japan le and I HAVENT PACK!!! Stil have to work tml too.

Kekeke. In these is some places in TW tt we visited.. Some cute guys, shopping, clubbing, weird food (BEE MAGGOT!!!), pretty views, some reminders of home (Valenzia!! Singapore, KEN DA JI). So.. enjoy. ;p

P/S: that guy at DADA is really cute!! Chk out guy in green below! *^^*

I'll miss u guys. *muacks!* till i'm back from japan!!

Exotic Dancing

2006-03-08T11:53:00.000+08:00

This is so oh-my-goodness boring. Sigh. I dont wanna pick up anymore phone calls leeeeeeee. Seems like every call I pick up, it's a complain or feedback or seomthng tt's totally so hard to handle. Cant people ask simple questions like.. like.. CAN I DONT TAKE EXAMS?? Then I can just plainly exclaim "NO, DUH."

Only stayed cuz the people there are so nice. Lili, Doreen, Shujun, Gerald and of cuz my classmates! :D Anyway, I think I may have to stop soon.. Cuz I'll be taking SAT1 alr!! YESSS!! Finally can study. Keke. Sounds weird.

I'm itching to club right now. Argh. All exotic and salsa dancing's fault. Yesterday's exotic dance lesson was outrageous. Lolx! Tell me how does one do a somersault/backflip thingy and look pretty at the same time. MI4! And Fi does it so effortlessly! I need to work on my abs and my balance maannn...

Shall we go to the gym yanny? I need to workout. =.=

Careerfair + Big Momma's Hse

2006-03-05T23:09:00.000+08:00

Work up drudgingly at 10am this morning (10am!! Usually i have to wake at 6! ;p) to shower and head to the cremetorium. Did I spell that right? Hahaha. Dont get me wrong wor.. I enjoy each trip there to pray to my grandma. I just dont like waking up so early. hahahah.

Headed to Suntec for the career fair after that. Hmm. Should have listened to Tina. It's really nothing much. :( boring. But I signed up for Monash U alr anyway. Intend to sign up for more in the upcoming studyinaustralia fair and australian unis exhibition in the next few weeks. Sad to say.. Most overseas Uni have very little courses starting in the 2nd sem (July). Most start in the 1st Sem which is in Feb/Mar. :( So if I do go overseas to study, I'll have to wait till next yr!!! ARGH!!!! I wanna start as soon as possible~~

Went out with LINX, WY, ZHIQI ytd. :D:D:D:D Bought myself a shirt and a cap!! but my cap is still with wy. ;p sorrie I had to leave so early.. SUPER tired.. Kekeke. I miss them so much!!! So happy to see them ytd. Hehehe.







EVerybody go watch Big Mommas House 2 if possible. It's hilarious!! Hahaha. Comparable to Pink Panther! I dont know which one I laughed harder. Keke. Eddie Murphy is SO good at comedies. :) I'm pleased today cuz someone said I looked YOUNG. :D Wow. Muahahahahaha! Okay now for the baby-faced young 23 yr old.







I swear he looks much better in person. :)

My life is really boring now. I miss the adrenaline rush. I NEED an adrenaline rush. Dancing do that for me sometimes. Bungee jumping, parachuting, horseback-ridding and white water rafting would bring me there, but I think I'll have to settle for something else for now. :( Maybe GYMMING would do it? Hahahaha. Imagine. ME. Gymming. :D

Look out dumbbells. Here I come. (erm.. later.)

MINISTRY OF SOUND!!!!

2006-03-02T23:27:00.000+08:00

oh my GAWD... yesterday was definately one of the best clubbing experience so far. So damned sad that I had to leave early!!! ): cuz of work this morning lah!!! SIgh. ahahahah.

Went to MOS with Tina, her sis Evelyn, 2 of her collegues and 2 guy frenz. Hahahaha. So we hit Smoove, and I met Bettina n her sec fren Chengyin. Those 2 babes are hot. ;D Oh! and met Huimien, Jennifer and ChengHua there too. Kekeke. They were half-drunk liao.

I cant blog more abt the clubbing thingie.. Will get into trouble. Hahahaha. But I'll tell u guys tml when we meet up!!! :D WAHAHAHAHAHA!

Okay So i keep promising TW pictures. ;p but there are so many!! I didnt have time to upload them all. Gimme a while more. Meanwhile, pictures from last night! *^^*

CHENGYIN, BETTS, ME

ME, WEIMING

CHENGYIN, ME, BETTS

I'm gonna make sure I bring my cam the next time I go clubbin with Tina or Betts. Kekeke. Loads of fun. Though I prefer Zouk's RnB. ;p

PLease dont click on the linnks k. View those pictures small small. Then maybe I dont look so make-up-smudged and sweaty and ugly. LOlx!

okaie. Maybe I shud blog more abt my results.. Mmm. Wasnt wad I expected... I am damned lucky. (: I wanna get a scholorship. But now there's alot of ppl telling me not to take Psychology. HAii.

Cried and cried when I got my results. I wanna thank my MAMA, PAPA, MRS ONG, MISS LANG, MR LAWRENCE LIM, blah blah. Heex. Xie xie.

And wanna thank God for having frenz like u guys. ;p You know who you all are.. *muack*

Bigdick

2006-02-28T21:57:00.000+08:00

For the dictionary illiterate and un-intelligent. (:

Dictionary
nymph |nimf|
noun
1 a mythological spirit of nature imagined as a beautiful maiden inhabiting rivers, woods, or other locations.
• chiefly poetic/literary a beautiful young woman.
2 an immature form of an insect that does not change greatly as it grows, e.g., a dragonfly, mayfly, or locust. Compare with larva .
• an artificial fly made to resemble the aquatic nymph of an insect, used in fishing.
3 a mainly brown butterfly that frequents woods and forest glades.
• Several genera in the subfamily Satyrinae, family Nymphalidae. See also wood nymph .

DERIVATIVES nymphal |ˈnimfəl| adjective nymphean |ˈnimfēən| adjective nymphlike |-līk| adjective

ORIGIN late Middle English : from Old French nimphe, from Latin nympha, from Greek numphē ‘nymph, bride’ ; related to Latin nubere ‘be the wife of.’

Thesaurus
nymph
noun
1 a nymph with winged sandals sprite, sylph, spirit. See table at spirit .
2 literary : a slender nymph with brown eyes girl, belle, nymphet, sylph, ingenue; young woman, young lady; Scottish lass; literary maid, maiden, damsel.

So glad that chelz called us out this aft for dinner!! Helluva time at WM foodcourt. Keke. I havent seen each of them for so so so long. With linx and wy the longest! Mm.. no wait. actually it's Andy.. Havent seen him since.. last year. =.=

Nothing much to blog abt today except that the calls are FLOODING in at the office. Can u imagine?? Rcved abt 1200+ calls, and we only picked up like.. 500plus of them?? OMG. and I answered slightly over a hundred only. I bet there'll be more calls tomorrow cuz it's the release of the A lvl results. and about EIGHT of the staff (all A lvls) wud be taking half day away from office to go to school.. *shakes head* I dont wan to think how busy office will be tomorrow.. BrRrr. And calls coming in are becoming more and more bizzare. Wad's wrong with us Sgreans? Lolx. Bah. So glad it's only a tiny minority tt causes BIG problems. (:

Salsa classes Module 2 ends next mon alr.. SO FAST!!! GG to Intermediate1 soon.. So odd la. I hvnt even mastered the shines taught yet. Keke. Never fear. I shall JIA YOOoOOuUUU!!!

And good luck to all ppl awaiting A lvl results tml. (: ALL THE BEZ.

Taiwan pictures up tml. :D

BETTINA

2006-02-27T21:47:00.000+08:00

I saw Bett on the way home from dance class earlier in the evening. *big smiles* I havent seen her in AGES. When was the last time...?

I only rem seeing her during her bday a few yrs back with Morris. Hahahaha!! It's been so bloody long.. And I've met Morris and BH more then twice after that. ArgH. Nostalgia hit. (: Primary school days are so much fun. Whoever heard of stress and competition and datelines? kekeke. I think that was the only time when 2 besties could share the same crush without a catfight. Whahahahahahha!! Though it's really hard to remember why we liked him in the first place now.. ;p

Okay i'm rambling. but i'm happie!! so pardon me. *^^*

Jack's on my msn now. Yippee!! ;p

Hmm.. But he's not really what I thought him out to be. Kekeke. We'll see.

2 more days to wed. (:

Sash

2006-02-26T19:46:00.000+08:00

Once again I recommend reading A Babe in Toyland, Sash's blog. She writes beautifully! The most recent post is one of the most meaningful I've ever read. Anyone tt's been through a failed r/s will definately relate very well to this post. It reaches into the depths of one's soul and touches the heart. I cant describe it well, ah but just read it. (: it's everything and anything that I felt.

Here's a part of her blog entry. Read the rest here

"....You broke my heart but never shattered it completely. And that is the cruelest thing to do to somebody. It broke it into one thousand parts. So that piece by piece it flaked off. Like bad paint off a humid Hong Kong wall. Carrying off fragments of the hopeful, optimistic me that you once knew and cared about.

Maybe I was too forgiving. All I needed from you was a simple dealbreaker. Something to definitively label you a bastard and thus make me avoid you forever. The worst relationships are the ones that wear away at you by attrition. One modest disappointment after another. A neglected call. A missed dinner date. A forgotten gift. Love isn't always about grand gestures and flowery apologies. You know I'm not a needy chick. You never had to spend much time with me. And I never asked for much - just the certainty that when you said you'd call back, you would. Or that if you couldn't make it in time, you'd let me know. Simple courtesies like that.

Do you know the amount of time I spent waiting for you to call? Or keeping my fingers crossed in agony over whether you'd make it to see me? I would put my plans on hold for up to a week on the off-chance that you were in town. Of course I grew tired of waiting. But then I'd wait some more. Of course I'd tell myself that I would never let anyone else string me along this way. But when the opportunity presented itself, I'd just do it all over again. That's why I said that knowledge makes me vulnerable. Nobody but me should know that I suffered like that.

I never told you because I just wanted the few times we had together to be happy and free of these banal little irritations. I just assumed things would get better with time. I never told you because I needed to preserve my dignity. I was a strong, confident woman who didn't need anyone else in her life, who had a string of people who loved to spend time with her, who went through men like water. Why was I being over-sensitive and needy and pathetic like this? Absolutely out of character. I had to disown that part of myself.

And thus, I had to disown what I felt about you. And so I did things to sabotage our relationship. I kept the truth from you. Because that was the only thing I had control over. I had to convince myself that I didn't care. I had to numb myself to what I felt. I used other men with their tokens of affection to fill the gaping void you tore inside me.

That's how it all works together, okay? Like a bird with a broken wing. Looking out at the sky and wanting to fly but knowing it never will. And so it begins to eat away at its feathers and starve itself in despair. Knowing that the more it destroys itself, the less chances it will have to escape the cage it's in. "

the PINK panther

2006-02-25T22:19:00.000+08:00

Watch the PINK PANTHER. I laughed my butt off. (: Good work out for the abs too.

I know what you've been through.. I did the same so I cant blame u for doing it too..
But I'm past that. I know now that it's not something that can be helped. Subsequently.. There'll be other factors too. I dont know what else to say. But I dont wan ya to drift that far.. There's more to life then that.
Maybe I'm selfish. But I'm only human.

FRIDAE~! (:

Kang + Ben in Town.

2006-02-24T21:49:00.000+08:00

DONT watch Final Destination 3. It's gruesome, bloody, and will fcuking make u puke. And plus it has absolutely no story line at all. It's like watching short stories of how people die in the most terrible way.

I'll update abt the TW trip another day. Cuz i havent uploaded all the pictures!! hahahaha. Be forewarned ya. There will be ALOT of pictures.

Met up with Kang first, then Ben in town to pass them their prezzies. Fooled around for abit.

Accompanied Kang to buy a wallet for his Daddee. Braun Buffel for $96! Then this wave of nostalgia hit me suddenly in the face. *WHAM!* I MISS YAN XIU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *SOBX*

Pretty woman.. walking down the street..

Nothing interesting happened on the streets of Orchard. Except... this group of people showcasing a sports car outside Taka suddenly enclosed that beautiful car when Kang walked pass with a evil gleam in his eye. I told him not to play with contact lenses! :p oh btw do you know, Baush and Lomb Renu's contact lens solution is not advisable for usage now? and I'VE BEEN USING IT FOR YEARS!!!

Ah well. Misc pictures taken at Taka's Guess? and Orchard MRT. (:

I didnt know my hair looked to unruly from behind. ): So pong pong!!

Then I met up with Ben.. I love my Erzi!! He's such good company. Kekeke. And he's a brillant model too. Check out the pictures I took of him when we went touring behind centrepoint. Did you know that Emerald Hill has VERY nice houses???

Now aint I a good photographer? ;p *nonsense!* Okay fine. Let's be honest. So I'm NOT good at photographing. And I'm not good at photo editing too! but please bare with it. (:

And CHRISTINA LIAN JINGYUN is coming to japan with me!!! *^^*

OH. And my dad got me BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN DVD!!! Who's up for a mahjong cum movie date at my hse? ;D

Jack + Brokeback Mountain

2006-02-16T21:16:00.000+08:00

Remember the cute receptionist guy I blogged about many many months ago when I just came back from Genting, First World Hotel? Kekeke. I finally have clear pictures of him. I think he finally became active in his friendster. Mm. here are the pictures in his friendster, but I dont think it does him justice. Hahaha. He's much cuter in real person!!

Oh, and watch the thriller of Brokeback Mountain here. I WAN TO WATCH BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN!!!! Why is it rated R in US, but ppl at 17 can watch it!! Sg just HAVE to make it R(21), so that only ppl above 21 can watch it. ARGhHhHH!! Hopefully the original DVD/VCD comes out soon! Hahahhaa. It's a super tragic love story of 2 guys. It amazes me how sometimes the love between 2 guys or 2 girls can be so much stronger than a heterosexual couple.

Hmm.. And read interesting personal stories and comments regarding the issue on the movie and abt homosexuality on the same website. Some of it is really touching!! SWEET!! ;p Go Gays Go!!! (Mm.. on second thought, that didnt sound quite right. lolx!)

Some of the comments,
"... a beautiful tragedy about the anguish of unfulfilled love. It's an absolute triumph, in every way."
-- Dawn Taylor, PORTLAND TRIBUNE

"This story of suppressed passion is, irrespective of gender considerations, a deeply moving, indeed lacerating, film."
-- Frank Swietek, ONE GUY'S OPINION

"Any of us can imagine a forbidden passion so sweeping that it carries us off at flood tide, never allowing us to question it. Whether the object of our affection would carry a purse, a lariat or both is beside the point."
-- Lawrence Toppman, CHARLOTTE OBSERVER

"Ang Lee conveys maddening delirium rendered in the way one man’s eyes gaze at another’s, and then look away, and the looking-away amounts to the murder of two souls as surely as if they’d drawn guns and hit each other in the heart."
-- Ken Tucker, NEW YORK MAGAZINE

"A haunting and complex story that explores the strength and fragility of love, Ang Lee's visually magnificent film is as affecting as it is beautiful."
-- Urban Cinefile Critics, URBAN CINEFILE

"A haunting and complex story that explores the strength and fragility of love, Ang Lee's visually magnificent film is as affecting as it is beautiful."
-- Urban Cinefile Critics, URBAN CINEFILE

Some how hor, putting Brokeback mountain (gays) and Jack (cute genting guy) together in the same post doesnt seem appropriate. LOLX! but i'm lazy to separate it into different posts. *^^*

Pimp n Ho

2006-02-16T10:03:00.000+08:00

Wont be in SG for this party. :{

And I just realise yesterday.. I missed DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES on MONDAY!!! Sigh. Only realised it when I met Kang Sheng and Sijie at Holland V ytd. Mmm.. Sijie appeared to be more aloof than usual.. Felt like sitting near an icicle.. Brr. Not very nice at all. Lucky Kang Sheng was there to lighten the atmosphere. :p

Will be gone from tml onwards to the 24th.. I'm gonna miss u guys. (:

Valentine

2006-02-13T22:46:00.000+08:00

Vicky went back to Aussie today after her near 2 month stay in SG. :( Couldnt send her off becuz had to OT and had salsa class. Sigh. Sorrie I cant send u off girlie. Keke.. But I bet you had an amazing time at your 'chalet'. ;p *hugs* i'm gonna miss you babe. HONEST!

JAE will finally end on Wed. and i'll be gg to TW on fri. Keke. I really cant wait.

When Mr Lim found out that I've been working, driving, dancing, clubbing and trying to spend equal time with my family and friends, he was like "HHAAAAAHHHH?? Why do you do so many things at once?"

I dont know. I need this kinda lifestyle to keep myself occupied. If I slow down to think, I may not like my thoughts. Hahaha. But sometimes I really wish I can snooze in bed until after 12pm instead of draggin myself up at 6am. lolx. Gonna get my wish on friday. *^^*

Tomorrow's Valentine... but I'll be at MOE picking up calls and dancing in the evening. Hmm. I'm not complaining.

Anyway, here's a glimpse of another fanfiction that I adapted from blog. kekeke. I like Aven from theprettyflower, but too many conversations liaooo.. But cuz Kytiana is all about vamps and the paranormal, so I guess I kinda like it. *^^* However it's super R-rated. Viewer discretion is advised. I dont know if Kytiana's a real person, but if she is, she amazing in that she managed to kinda effectively infuse her human real-life with her vamp life. Too bad she doesnt blog often. read read read.

~+*+~ x ~+*+~

Something has changed within me since he left. I feel it like a of hot vapour rolling and caressing the insides of me. The ardeur ran though me, exploring places that I wasnt very happy about sharing, digging out all my weaknesses and secrets. The ardeur awoke something inside me.. that purred. Like a lazy cat, it stretched and rolled about, pacing about in the cage of my body. Suddenly it stopped and stared into my eyes at me. The animal's eyes burned into blinding purple flames of light..

I yearn his touch, his scent, his embrace. I want to feel his skin against mine, feel the warm flow of blood beneath his skin. I want to press my lips on his neck, take in his scent, flick and swish my tongue against that racing pulse near his collarbone.

"Kytiana.."

I could almost hear him whisper near my neck. Almost feel that warm wet tongue circling that sensitive spot just behind my ear, while I press against him. His body was taut against mine, hard versus soft. His arms encircled me, lying one strong hand on the small of my back, the other at the nape of my neck so that my head was tilted just milimeters away from his lips. He was breathing really hard.. The closeness between us made something below me tighten. It was suddenly all too warm. All too intimate. I licked my lips. And incidently brushed his lips with my tongue too. In the same moment, I heard him gasped and felt his growing bulge straining against my thigh.

"Kytiana.."

I had to turn away. I had to run. Everything I feel when I was with him was too barbaric. Too primal. I couldnt think, I couldnt breathe. I dont need that. I'm used to being in control. I hated not being able to control myself. I laid my hand on his chest - oh his chest.. It was like placing my hands on pure muscle. Shit. I felt my nipples tighten. I needed to get away from him. I pushed softly but firmly against him - I bent backwards slightly, and only succeeded in pushing my thighs further into his groin.

Now it was my turn to gasp. He did nothing to hide his excitement. I blushed, but made myself look up into his eyes. Maybe he didnt try to see into my mind. Maybe he dont know how much I wanted him. I could still get away.. until I read his eyes. His gaze was so intense, I saw his need clearly in his eyes. Love, lust, hunger. I could smell it above his cologne. Thick and heavy, just above his spicey and woody cologne. God.. He wanted me more than I wanted him! I closed my eyes, as if I by doing that, I could block out his sex, his need, my desire, my want.

"Ti.. tiana.. Kytiana.. Kytiana!"

Someone was gently, but persistently shaking my shoulders. I opened my eyes again to see Jamal's gentle eyes. I couldnt help but smile. Things have been different since Damien left. Jamal was one of them. Jamal's handsome with his neatly trimmed eyebrows, sparkling grey eyes and dimples. Jamal wore a simple orange tee and flattering jeans today. It made him look taller, broader. Against the lights, his skin glowed surreally. He was tanned and muscular as Damien was albaster and lean. It wasnt that Damien wasnt handsome, Damien's aura had another kind of attraction all on its own. I'll explain when we come to that. It's just that Jamal bordered between being handsome and pretty, and most girls I know like that. Too bad he's too unreadable to give any girl a form of security. He doesnt question my orders, and in return, he doesnt answer my questions either. Maybe that's why I chose him. I needed someone who can pretend to understand, eventhough he doesnt. Hell, I dont even understand myself. And I needed someone who wouldnt grow too attached. Jamal was like that. He had no lack of suitors, and we are merely each other's potential pomme de sang. I'm happy with this system. Until Damien gets back.

"Something bothering you, Ky?"

"Nothing that cant be solved." I smiled even as I knew that this was one thing that I cannot solve on my own.

"Let's hit the dance floor."

Jamal led me by the hand through the crowd. Funny. I havent realise how much I miss the simplicity of holding hands until Jamal's fingers brushed against mine. A shy touch at first, then teasing of fingertips, brushing of palms, and finally curling of fingers around each other's. I smiled despite of myself. When was it that I allowed another to hold my hand? As if Jamal read my mind, he looked over his shoulder at me and winked that irresisstable smile of his.

I didnt love Jamal. But he made me feel more of myself when Damien was away. I felt awkwardly comfortable in his presense, like how one usually feels after getting a brand new cuddly soft toy and leaving the old favourite aside for a while. I needed Jamal. I havent known Jamal for long, I should not feel this way about him. Yet I bathe lusciously in his attention and lust. I know Jamal is just a flitting shadow. Nothing as serious as my relationship with Damien would come out of Jamal and I. Maybe this was how I wanted it.

Music screamed through the club, and brillant lights danced all around us making everyone look so alien, so surreal. A familiar figure spooned me from my back. His arms encircled my waist, and burrowed his face into my hair and neck. Jamal. I knew what he felt like. I leaned backwards, arching my neck towards him. Suddenly it was just us. I could vaguely feel other vamps around me, hear the music screaming. But my mind was occupied with what Jamal was doing on my neck. We swayed hip to hip, my back to his chest in our own rhythm. He smelt oh so tanalizing. Sweeping part of my hair away, he exposed a stretch of bare neck. Jamal buried his face in my neck, licking and nibbling a hot trail of kisses up to my ear. A quick flick around that sensitive area sent shivers down my body, to parts that suddenly tightened and grew damp. I responded by pressing my body back against his. That drew a soft moan from Jamal. I wanted more.

Here's another interesting read Sash She's real confirm! hahaha. She is singaporean, but currently in HK. read abt her escapades and her reflections after that. Beware: her english is very very profound. But she's also very down-to-earth, probably tt's why her blog is so well-liked. hahaha. but this blog is also a bit R-rated. read read read.

Just wait till i write my own fan fiction!! ;p

Walk the Line

2006-02-12T21:39:00.000+08:00

I dont care what Michelle and Yuwei say, I still think that Johnny C sucks biiig biiig time. Sure it's a good show. But I hate Johnny as a person. It's just my point of view.

Different people have very different perceptions.. Depending on what the person has experienced in the past, in the present. And it may affect on a person's future too.. I just cant get over the fact that Vivian did so much for Johnny, stucked by him when he was poor and looked down upon, and gave him THREE adorable children, and yet Johnny went for June.. It just struck me that maybe being the 3rd party may be "good". Or maybe it just proves my point that men are fickle (eventhough John and June stayed happily married for over 35 years).. But if I were June (but I'm not), I'll be very very afraid to let myself believe in him. If John could promise the world to his 1st wife, and not fulfil it, wouldnt come one day that John might do the same to June too..?

I'm so skeptical. I hate that in myself. I dont want my past to have such a big effect on my future. I dont wanna be a miserly, suspicious old maid. But I think I'm moving towards that martyrization. AAHH!H!! Help.. :{

Anyway, on the brighter side of things.. My cousin lent me UZAP today. :p So Shujun!!! We can play on monday liao. hee. ;p hope the bosses dont mind me bringing it to work. HAHAHAHA!!

And Chelx and Yuwei n I had a very fancinating and bonding talk at the Friends GaeliXXX (i forgot how to spell) just now at Cine. See, the hot topics were brazilian wax, blood, abortion, HOT guys, boobs and pubic hair and R(A)-ted movies. *^^* now dont we sound realllllyy bad? Wahahahahaa!!! I know it sounds wrong on my blog entry, but really the chat was really innocent. *grins*

YW is right. Some of us may not keep in contact all the time.. But what makes our friendship strong is that we never forget each other despite the distance. *^^*

JAE

2006-02-08T20:23:00.000+08:00

JAE will commence on friday. FRIDAYY!!! :( that means hell for us on Sat, Mon, Tue, Wed, all the way to next FRI and even after that! (Transferrs, late applicants, overseas students etc etc etc. >.<) Sigh. Sorrie to all the rest of the CSEs that I'll be away next friday and the week after that.. I cant help u all pick up calls alr!!

I went for my Basic theory today.. So yea. I finally got my PDL. (:

Will be meetin Vic tml! yesh! Finally able to tear u away from ur boy ar woman? ;) Seems like there's no one else who can meet up alr. Sigh. Everyone's bz with school or work. But I guess it cant really be helped.

Stab me if I lie, but I really do miss yanny, linx, wy, yuwei and chelz and tina!!!

Mmm.. Probably going to Zouk on friday, or Chocolatte on Sat.. I've got free entries and maybe free drinks for Chocolatte's party on Sat at the Pavillion. :) Anyone wanna go? Keke. I met the marketing manager of Chocolatte at Salsa class and she give me an invitation. *^^* Ring me if anyone's interested!

Update! Cute lawyer, Dance, MOE, TW!

2006-02-06T20:55:00.000+08:00

Blogger has been down. I cant delete the "test test" post, and it takes sooOoOoo long to post just ONE entry. SIGH. Anyway, on with my blog.

Thanks for the smses, msn msges etc etc the last few days.. I guess I was just PMS-ing really badly. Never, never anger a women who's hormonally imbalanced. (: I'm better now..

That night after I missed the driving theory (cuz of my own carelessness and this customer that dont wanna put down the phone back at MOE), Tina asked me to go Momo! Was so tempted to go.. Hahaha. But didnt. Had to play good sister to my siblings while my parents are honey-mooning away in Japan. hahaha. Felt even worse tt I couldnt go out and enjoy myself.

Then Junming (cute lawyer!!) came down from Sembawang to have a drink and chat with me for awhile. It was really nice la.. eventhough he was an hour late! >.< Hahaha. I swear he has the one of the nicest hair, thick but nicely trimmed eyebrows, big eyes, dimpled smile, tall and lean! :D Too bad he has a gf. (Ken Chew: "No problem! He's not married WHAT.") Hahahahah! Cheered me up a lil. ;p

Actually.. I think all of you guys know the main source of me getting upset ba.. Hahaha. There's only one person so far that is capable of making me so upset. Was talkin to Algary the other day, he said something that has always been in my mind, but I never voiced it out. He said that it wasnt that I still love him. I was rejected by him.. Algary thought that when someone is rejected, the person will feel his ego being bruised.. And in order to heal feed that deflated ego and get back that little bit of pride, the person will try to go around the rejection to try to find acceptance. That way he might get back some of his pride and self-worth.. This is especially true for people who is highly stubborn and egoistic. And.. Kb misses Rita. I miss him. He rejected me, rita rejected him.. hahaha. Is this like Karma or what? I dont know.. But if this was true, then maybe when I can stop trying to gather all my lost pride and confidence.. I'll forget him soon.

Okaay.. I'll stop being so mushy for now. Back at MOE, the peak period is coming. I picked up a total of 128 calls today from 8.30am-4.30pm today!! That's like more den TWICE of what I usually pick up. Tht's because everyone's asking abt JAE, Ptd candidates registration, relief teaching, o lvl release dates etc etc etc! SO MANY!! arGh!~!~ *stressed* Boss told us to expect about 1800 calls a day in total during the peak. >.<

Luckily I'll be flying to TW on the 17th alr. Hahaha. Tt's after the peak, where things will START to slow down. START only. But then will start receiving calls on posting, a lvls, transfer of schools etc etc etc. OMG. >.< Why cant some ppl bother to READ the appropriate webby or booklet? Will make things so much easier. lolx.

Anyway.. Yuwei Chelz Tina!! Have u guys asked ur parents about gg to TW alr ma? Tell me asap wor. (:

I miss you all tons.

him

2006-02-02T20:46:00.000+08:00

I'm not good enough to make him cry for me at night..
I'm not good enough to make him want to do everything for me..
I'm not good enough to keep him by my side..

Everything is in a muddle right now. Everything's messed up. And my luck is also running down... I need my friends..

Messed up.

2006-01-30T23:55:00.000+08:00

How can you want something and dont want it at the same time?

Sigh. I'm so so so so so so messed up.

pictures!!

2006-01-27T22:25:00.000+08:00

Me at the MOE's office with this cool mic and headphone. I dont have to hold the phone to answer it!!! :D
The next is one of new bags. :p

The rest is yongliang and james alr. hahahaa.

White Boots!!

2006-01-27T09:00:00.000+08:00

MORE retail therapy yesterday with YongLiang, Yanny and Linx!!! Hehehehe. Met YL earlier in the afternoon to 'crash' his lab. The teacher doesnt seem to mind. keke. Then we headed to Far East and Takashimaya.. I love dressing up guys!! lolx. Gonna post some pictures when I get home. :p now in office.

Met Yanny and Linx at CityHall for Thai Exp. $25 for the 3 of us. cheap?? ;p and I FINALLY GOT MY BOOTS!!! My snow-white boots at Taka U.R.S when shopping with YL. Hahahaha!! When I asked the last 3 U.R.S, they all told me sold out!! and the last helped me checked stock. Apparently they told me none. BUT I FOUND IT!! :D Yes yesh yesh!!!

and then bought another pair of pretty brown ribbon sandal from VNC. *^^* I'm a happy girl hahahaa.

Meeting my dears tml at Holland V.. Cant wait!! :D

Nietzsche

2006-01-25T15:06:00.000+08:00

Check tis out. lolx! :p

Will and willingness.-- Someone took a youth to a sage and said: "Look, he is being corrupted by women." The sage shook his head and smiled. "It is men," said he, "that corrupt women; and all the failings of women should be atoned by and improved in men. For it is man who creates for himself the image of woman, and woman forms herself according to this image."
"You are too kind-hearted about women," said one of those present; "you do not know them." The sage replied: "Will is the manner of men; willingness that of women. That is the law of the sexes - truly, a hard law for women. All of humanity is innocent of its existence; but women are doubly innocent. Who could have oil and kindness enough for them?"
"Damn oil! Damn kindness!" someone shouted out of the crowd; "Women need to be educated better!" - "Men need to be educated better," said the sage and beckoned to the youth to follow him. - The youth, however, did not follow him.

from Nietzsche's The Gay Science, s. 68, Walter Kaufmann transl.

My Protection

2006-01-23T21:41:00.000+08:00

I've decided.. I'm gonna try..

Build a wall around my heart. One with no doors, no windows, a thick and strong tower.

No man is worth my tears. There's no such thing as true love. No such thing as forever.

It's not that I dont believe in love. I do. I just dont believe it's gonna happen to me.

From here on, it's all crushes and likes and lust and flings. No love!

One wont know what Happiness is until Sadness arrives.. Vice versa, one wouldnt know what Saddness is until Happiness has passed.

Zouk & Retail Therapy!!

2006-01-22T21:20:00.000+08:00

Went to Zouk with Tina, her sis, Vinn and his friends on friday night.. Stupid me, forgot to bring my ID!! And that biatch outside the entrance refuse to let me in until I've got my ID. Stupid. Dont I look old enought??? Heng Tina was on her way to Zouk, and she help brought my ID from home. And Vinn accompanied me until Tina and her sister came. *^^* Thanks Vinn.. hahaha.

The best thing about clubbing isnt the ambience, the drinks or the handsome guys. Lolx. It's the company that you go with, and the dancing!!! But I didnt get to dance as much as I hoped. Vinn had a backsprain and I duno his frens that well. Luckily JunMing came. Lolx.

:D He's this ultra cute lawyer in training from NUS. Tall, cheeky smile, dimpled grin, thick eyebrows, big eyes and warm personality. &^$$@#@#%R*^&*^#* too bad he's attached. ;p

Anyway, we danced at Phuture for a whole solid hour non-stop (he's a great dancer.), until Vinn and Tina had to go back. Vinn had to go back himself cuz I wanted to join JM and his frenz for supper (all females!). SORRY VINN!!!!

If werent for Vinn, I think it would have been a very bad clubbing experience that night. :( Cuz not only did I almost NOT manage to get in, I also lost the tag for my bag deposit. Vinn paid the lost charge for me and my drink. *^^* xie xie..

Had lunch with Aunt Julie on Sat morn.. and met Hiresh and Nigel at Far East Sq in the aft. Far East Sq's a really nice hangout place. :) Nice and quiet. Best of all, NO CROWDS!!!! :D

Went cny shopping today.. To Robinson's to Isetan to OG to Bugis and to Suntec. Spent about $300 on 2 Blossomz skirts, a blouse and a jacket, a pair of FOX Jeans, and 2 bags that I simply fell in love with. :D

Got cheap deals everywhere lah. lolx! :p I'm bushed from all the walking.. I bought quite alot.. but there's still a little more on my shopping list. :x Maybe when I get my salary. Hahahaha.

Will post pictures tml. :)

Couple on MRT

2006-01-18T15:44:00.000+08:00

I forgot to mention.. I came across this very sweet couple in the morning on my way to MOE. Hahaha. They remind me of the couple I read in the comic H3 School (I borrowed from yuwei!! ;p), eventhough they are nothing like the couple in the book.

Maybe it was because of their actions ba... I dont know how to explain. The couple wasnt like super pretty or super handsome, but something abt the air between them kinda touched me. Erm.. How do I put it?

I dont believe in fairytales no more.. I'm cynical maybe. But what I saw today might have as well jumped out of a fairytale. No it's not them openly exclaiming their love for each other on the train, neither is it showcasing public display of affection.

In fact, you wouldnt notice that they are a couple unless you heard their conversation(I didnt evasdrop la! I was just beside them among the morning crowd, so I heard), and notice their small actions that actually speaks alot.

It was the way the guy was looking at the girl, the way the girl was shyly avoiding his gaze initially, the way she look up at the guy with a serene smile on her face and her hand on his chest. Lolx. I really dont know how to put it. *shakes head*

Something passed between them that instant when their eyes met. mMm.. OKay okAy for example, the train was jerky on the tracks for a while. And the girl looks like she's gonna trip. The guy instinctively wound an arm protectively around her waist, and with a look in his eyes that looked like I-want-to-pull-you-in-my-arms-and-protect-you-forever-and-ever kind of gaze, and the girl also automatically reach out her hands to touch the guy's chest. LOLX! Can you guys see it?

And when the girl laid her head on his chest, the guy lowered his head to whisper, "Bu Yao Pa. Wo Bu Hui Rang Ni Die Diao De."

It was kinda like fairytale comic to me, cuz I've never seen such trust and affection and protectivness between 2 people. Some people try to show that in their loud claims and exeggerated actions. But this couple didnt do much, but everything was reflected in their eyes and the air between them. Hahahaha. Made everyone around them blushed for them..

Maybe it's Yuwei's comics and all the other love comics before that, that made me so whimsical today. :) Yeah.

Been some time..

2006-01-18T15:25:00.000+08:00

Lolx. Sorriiieee. Work's a CHORE. I rather be doing tutorials. At least you get a sense of accomplishment when it's done. Lolx. I get things done in the office too. But it's not the same.

Would you feel a sense of accomplishment after you shred a box of paper? No? OKay. How about TWO boxes? (: I shredded 2 boxes of papers today. (There's this BIIGGG Shredding machine in MOE, bigger den washing machine!! But you can only insert a few pieces of paper at a time. =.=)

The work is boring, but the collegues are so nice. Hahaha. And boring.. well it's comparatively better than overwhelming. ;p

Anyway, I heard from my small Boss that I'm gonna be transferred to the Call Centre on Fri or next Mon. I thought I was transferring this week. But apparently I wasnt. I was looking forward to be transferred there before.. But now, I think I kinda like sleep typing in front of a computer. Answering customer's phone calls would be kinda tough? Need to kena scolded by customers de wor. And lunch break is only HALF AN HOUR!!! My lunch hour now depends on my small bosses. Sometimes I'm free for 2 hours. :p

ooHh yeah.. My course ended for Salsa Module1 and Exotic Module1 yesterday.. So now I'm in Module 2 alr! After this, I can go into intermediate! :D I cant wait!! Dont ask me to show.. Cuz I still dance like a tree trunk. Keke. But it's nice to see other trees dancing unlike tree trunks.

Like yesterday.. There was this ultra HOT Brunei babe that took POLE DANCING in UK before.. Than came back to SG to take Exotic Module1. So since ytd was our 'graduation', our 2 classes came together to perform. Her body is like water. Roll roll roll, shake shake shake. Next time I try to ask her lemme shoot a short video of her dance. It's super nice!!! *^^*

Is there any guys that wanna join salsa?? It sucks when you didnt join it with a partner cuz in salsa, the male leads the dance. So if you dont hv a male, the woman cant really dance on her own. :( Will SOMEONE please take up salsa with me???

MM.. actually.. this plea is of no use. Hahaha. Cuz I dont have many male blog visitors. ;p

I miss muthus ALOT ALOT. Everyone's bz with work and bfs and esp SCHOOLs and TESTs!~!~ :( I miss you guys..

Actually I'm kinda packed too. :( Becuase of work, I'm only free during the weekends and in the evenings. Every evening is occupied. MOn's Salsa, Tue's Exotic, Wed and Thu is Driving, this Fri maybe gg to NUS hall bash at Phuture, Sat meeting resh and nigel, Sun's family day. GRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. NO time no time!!! And I still wanna spend more time with my family and friends...

Hesitations.

2006-01-15T20:39:00.000+08:00

OKya. here's my Splurging and dream Shopping list.

1. SGD$1000 shopping spree for tops, jeans, 3/4s, sweaters, jackets, tees and belts.
2. SGD$300 for cosmetics. (I alr have some. I dont use alot, but they are so NICE TO BUY!!!! All glittery and shiny and stuff. ;p)

Very little right? ;p only 2 points. Hehehe.

I have to work for 2 months to get that kinda $$ i think. SIgh. I think 2 months later after March, I'll hv enuff dough to do all that. *^^*

Went to the Australian Universities Open Hse again. Seriously considering Uni of Melb or Monash. But at the same time, I wanna continue in SG too. But the latter seems less attractive.

I'm worrying about some minor things.. If only I can 1. make sure that my siblings dont lose out on gg overseas to study also, and it wont be burning my mom's wallet, 2. I wont miss my friends so terribly much, 3. will be able to continue dancing in Aussie, 4. will be able to get my driving liciense before I need to start Sem in Aussie, then I dont think I will hesitate so to go. ):

Memoirs of a Geisha.

2006-01-14T22:33:00.000+08:00

Memoirs of a Geisha is nice. Not as nice as the book, but still nice. Lolx. Zhang Ziyi is really pretty!!! So is Gong Li and Michelle! All great beauties in one movie!! (:

As I was watching the show.. I pondered abt some stuff. Can anyone answer them?

1. Why is that when you DO something for someone that u care about, you feel happy
and good doing it even when the other party doesnt care for u like u care for him?

2. Why is it that only when you lose someone, then you'll realise her importance to you?

mMm.. Sometimes I wonder if those people who get married are truely in love with each other. Is it true love? Or is it just the timely meeting of 2 lonely souls?

Nobu did so many things for Sayuri. But Sayuri disappointed him. Yet Nobu didnt regret what he did for her.

Eventhough the Chairman was married with kids, Sayuri didnt minded being his "mistress". Only half a wife. If Chairman really loved Sayuri, den why marry his wife in the first place?

*scratches head*

Change topic.. Went with Nicklaus to Orchard Hotel today.. Heh, heh heh.. it sounds so wrong. But we went there to check out the Australian University Open House la. ;p Considering a few universities.. I really feel like studying abroad.

But there are so many things that I cant bear to leave behind..

So many things!!

2006-01-14T11:33:00.000+08:00

And so, it is confirmed that it is him.. Stupid.

Ytd night, another stranger added me on msn, and said that fall gave him the msn. I was screamin my head off (as best as I could in typing) at the stranger, complaining and throwing things-that-a-girl-should-not-say at him too. Funnily this stranger seemed empathetic. He asked fall if it was really him. fall stubbornly denied it was him, but stupidly gave himself away when this stranger asked if they could remain as friends.

why?

the conversation goes something like this.

stranger: okay okay. I believe you're not what she (meaning me) said.
stranger: but you're nice to talk to. Wanna keep in contact still?
fall: thanks. Sure.
stranger: msn?
fall: okay. you*n_*censored*@hotmail.com
stranger: you*n? funny. tt's the name she told me too.

AHA!!! (: how dumb can males get?

Just admit it. women are smarter.

Anyway, it was lucky that he was found out. Cuz I was on the verge of calling the police to give him a warning. Harressment. Flaming. Causing mental degradation.

Argh~! Luckily I ended it with him before I really found out what he was like. And I love my friends who warned me before but I didnt listen - none of them said "I told you so." Kekeke. *MUACK* (:

Speaking of which, I havent see them in a long time. ): hope ur tests goes well yanny, linx! Missing wy yuwei chelz and andy much.

It seems like friday the 13th wasnt my last day at work. I'm suppose to be 'transferred' to another unit. Which is - on the other side of the office room. (: Ah well. Nevertheless, my position sounds really professional. Customer Service Officer. ;p Eventhough I'm only doing misc stuff. Hehehe.

Going to watch memoirs of the geisha later with tina and nick.. anyone wanna come along? :D

2.5 months has passed since we all sat for our last A lvl paper. And there are STILL things that I wanna do.

Continue with Exotic and Salsa, take up Latin Fusion, obtain my driver's liciense, visit Japan/Aust/Taiwan, Bunge Jump, Sky Dive, Scuba Dive, Horseback ridding, decide and find out more abt studying overseas!!!!!!

FCUKING IDIOT

2006-01-11T19:12:00.000+08:00

CAN YOU BLOODY BELIEVE IT????

HE'S DOING IT AGAIN TODAY!!!! WTF???? MORE LEWD PHONE CALLS AND SMSES!!! AND NOW EVEN EMAILS AND MSN!!!!!!!!!!!!

*cries* I ignore everything ytd, thinking it was just him being childish. BUT NOW I'M FCUKING PISSED!!!!

FCUKING FCUKING PISSED!!!!!!!

SMS from Aussie. (:

2006-01-11T14:25:00.000+08:00

Both good and bad things occured yesterday..

He's a jerk to stoop that low to 'get back' at me. So damned irritated by that. It only proves to show that I didnt make the wrong choice when I choose to end it.. And somehow it also proves that there really are less and less guys in the world that are truely gentlemen and noble.

Lolx. I'm reading too many vampire and old romance. :p

Anyway, bought 2 paranormal novels from Borders ytd. Everytime I buy a book ($17.95!!!), I feel the sting from my pocket. Especially now I have a better sense of MONEY since I'm working and NOT getting money from my parents. Hahaha. But my heart always beat faster in anticipation and excitment over the new book. *^^*

L.A Banks -The Bitten
Laurell K. Hamiltion - Narcissus in Chains.

Narcissus in Chains's about a kick ass vampire huntress, that has both Master of Vampire, Jean-Claude and Werewolf King, Ulfric as her dark lovers. Wahahhaaha. Cannot stop reading it. ;p

Wanted to buy Sidney Sheldon.. But since yanny has it liao so I'll borrow it from her first. :p please yanny?

Also went for another sales promoter interview at Sony on monday.. But I didnt get the job. Nvm cuz I dont wanna let MOE down either. I promised to work for them for 2 weeks. Hahaha. Was in a dilemma, so God made a decision for me.

Received pleassnt news via sms at 5.27pm ytd. (: Kinda happy now. lolx.

2 good and 2 bad. Hahaha.

I know my posts are boring. I'll try to make it more interesting k. Watch out for a picture that I'll post later tonight. *^^*

I'm not sorry anymore.

2006-01-10T13:54:00.000+08:00

*** fall was ~yuhn@bb219-75-94-158.singnet.com.sg (jtru)
*** fall is on IRC via server SanJose.CA.US.Galaxynet.Org (Tue Jan 10 13:20:59 2006)
*** fall End of WHOWAS

This person has been faking my identity on IRC and giving away my number. I received 4 lewd calls and smses!!! It's not difficult to guess who might be doing it. It's not certain, but I'm quite sure.

Because of what you did, I dont feel guilty anymore. I'm glad it happened. Thank you.

Childish actions..

Sorry an..

2006-01-10T11:39:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry. But I need to try and I thought u'll be happy that I at least tried. But it's not working out, and I'll feel like shit if i let it continue. Duan Tong Bu Ru Chang Tong. Think of me any way u wanna. But I truely nv meant to hurt anybody.

Feeling so freaking relieved now, and yet so sadly guilty. Whatever it is, the burden and weight has been lifted off my shoulders. *^^*

I solemnly vow that I will reject all guys IMMEDIATELY.

I wanna be single for another 2 years.

It sucks when people u dont like, likes u, and the one that you like, doesnt.

An arguement with KaiBoon made me realise..

2006-01-08T22:55:00.000+08:00

Talking to a person just now made me grow up a little.

Was talking abt a few male friends in my life. Made me realise I may have hurt them unintentionally. And I may continue to hurt them more too unless I do something else about it.

Being single isnt all that bad.. Even when it gets lonely at times, your friends are always there for ya. Keke. Now I agree that getting into a relationship will hinder alot of things in my life. Sure.. you'll blessed all over and your heart feels like bursting cuz it's overflowing with love for your partner.

But tt's exactly the kind of feeling I'm afraid of now. There are many things I wanna do in life; in the future that a relationship will, in one way of another, hinder what I wanna do..

I wanna study hard hard and become a pedeatrician or children psychologist in the future. I wanna bring just a little more affection to children in developing countries that were deprived of it. Hahaha. I wanna earn lotsa money and travel the world to help others get outta the poverty line. I'm very very fortunate to be born here and not somewhere else in the world. So I wanna know wad it is like on the other side of the globe.

Mmm.. Maybe I'm selfish ba.. but I'm not ready to think of every little thing that will affect my boyfriend if I wanna do something. How do I put it? It's like. I dont wanna think abt what my bf thinks if I wanna go clubbing. I dont wanna put a love quote on my msn nick and have him think that I am talking abt him or fantasizing abt some other guy. I dont wanna ask for permission to change my display picture if I wanna put up a picture of me and another guyfriend. I dont wanna explain to my bf that I need time out with my girlfriends too.

I know I'm selfish. Ahh.. But please forgive me.

There will probably come one day where I'm ready for a commitment ba.. When my career's steady, when I'm happy and when I've sucked and squeezed every little thing out of what life can offer. *claps gleefully*

Maybe than, when I have no other responsibilities, no other things that I havent experienced, would I finally settle down with the one I love. And it'll be mutual too. Cuz HE has also taken everything outta life and ready for me. *^^*

Have you thought of why married couples stray?
One study showed that married couples stray because they didnt had enough fun experiencing what the world and others have to offer b4 settling down.

Have you ever wondered why people get married?
Because they want someone important to them to to take part, and be a witness of important events in their life. So that even when he/she dies, a part of him/her lives on, as memories and thoughts that exist in his/her partner's heart.

you gotta know what you dont want first before you can know wad you want..

Logitech in the Dark and bloody Woman who wont stop yakking.

2006-01-08T13:12:00.000+08:00

Went to Sim Lim with Calvin (YongYing) Kor to buy ext harddisk and webcam. Hahaha. I used to think Kor's very charming. And I still do! See for yourself. *^^*

Luckily Morris was working there, so I got my webcam from him for a low low price!! ;p But the harddisk was too ex.. So I thought maybe I'll buy another time. Hahaha. Seeing Morris made me think of Bettina.. Our fun-filled primary school days where me and my best friend liked the same guy. Kekeke. I miss ya bett!! ;) and it was so coincidental that I met Goh Boon Huat (Morris's best friend in pri sch) on the bus too. Lolx.

So I got my Logitech, Mac and Windows compatiable webcam at $98 instead of $139. *^^* saved about $40. Yay~

Wanna see cute Morris? ;p

oh okay. so he isnt very cute in this picture.
But I like his kinda cute laaHhh~! ;D

After getting my webcam, Cal Kor n I went to watch the Dark at PS. It's odd that I'm nt afraid of English Horror movies, but terribly spooked by Asian horror movies. >.<

Anyway, the show was okay la. Bad ending. But the plot was good. Based on the novel 'Sheep' by I-forgot-who. Actually the show would have been much better, if there wasnt this stupid fcuking &*^%^&$$%^#@ biatch that kept talking on the phone is the cinema for more than 15 minutes!!! (She's not local, but I shadnt say wad race she is. I dont wanna get flamed.)

That stupid lady had her Nokia cell ringtone set at LEVEL FIVE. The first time it rang, people just ignore it. When she picked it up and started talking for a while, people just closed one eye.

THEN THE 2ND TIME SHE PICK UP HER OH-SO-LOUD PHONE, people's BOTH eyes open. We thought she'll hung up after awhile, but NnnOooooo she chose to have a loud conversation in a bloody foreign language in the cinema. After 5 minutes, people behind started to "SSSSSHHH!!!" , "OOII!!!", "QUIET LAH!!!"

Guess what? She talked even louder. I think she was trying to out-talk the main leads in the movie.

After that, this group of people shouted down, "KNNBCCB LAh!!! KNN put down the phone can??", it's like she found their words encouraging, and she talked EVEN LOUDER.

WTF. I was seated just behind and beside of her. Apparently everybody also buay tahan her alr. I also cannot tahan. We paid a bloody $9.50 for a Saturday ticket, and SHE had to spoil the movie for the rest of the cinema patrons.

I grabbed a handful of salted and honeyed popcorn and threw them over her ~~thick skull~~ head.

She failed to notice the shower of yellow kernels.

If Cal Kor didnt stop me, I think I would have sprinkled more handfuls on her.

The 2 guys (from a foreign country too) beside me was even more pissed at her, but laughed goodheartedly at the struggle between Me and Cal kor and the popcorn, (cause Kor wanted to eat the popcorn but i wanted to throw them) and they ended up kicking her chair too.

Behind us were still overwhelming spews of vulgarities and mutters. One of them made me wanted to burst out in laughter.
"You must speak her language then she understand."

WAHAHAHAHAHA! It's so innocent, and yet sarcastic and ridiculously true at the same time. LOLX.

In the end, CalKor and another 2 guys went out of the cinema to ask a attendant to chase her out. But he came back even more furious. Know why? Cuz when one of the 2 guys told the nearest attendant, the attendant said, "Sorry my shift is over le. Can you look for someone else?" WAHHHHHHHHHHHH That attendant has NO sense of good CUSTOMER SERVICE at all. Cal kor steped in.

"There's a fcuking woman in your fcuking cinema, making a helluva fcuking noise on the telephone and alot of ur patrons is fcuking pissed. Can you and your organisation do a fcuking something about it??"

Because Kor look so young and innocent, and he carried a smile (that grew more meancing by each word,) I guess the attendant got quite a rude shock. He said he'll find a superior to get her out.

A little more satisfied, they went back in. But no attendant or superior ever came in even until the show was over.

WTF? I always liked to go Golden Village cinemas. I'm super pissed at the stupid woman, but I think i'm even more pissed at the cinema for NOT doing anything abt it. Isnt it their responsibility?? So bloody disappointed. And outside got SIGNS (in cartoon form) that say if you make too much noise in the cinema, or disturbed other people, you would be chased out. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED to that policy??

I'm angry.

2006-01-05T11:50:00.000+08:00

Here's the down side of studying in Singapore. Students can never get out of Singapore's Education system!!!!

Here I am, seated on my temp desk with the computer in front of me working in the MOE building. I'm sure the comp is as sick as I am of it, as it is with me. HelloOoOoO!! Try staring at the computer flitering out emails, sending emails, printing documents for 9 hours. (: Your eyes will flower.

I know I havent been updating lately.. I also dont remember much of what happened th last few days. ): that's the prob with me. My memory span's only like.. 1 day? I only remember ytd. (: Chili and Pepper crab at Jurong West with Nick, Kel, Tina, Wen Jie and Khung Xing!!! Hahaha. It was sorta like our sending off for him.. He's going in NS on friday le. (and so is Ian!!) So many of my good guy frenz are gg in so soon lah. Kenneth went in alr, and Nick is going in on the 20th!

Mm I remember playing mahjong with Muthus like there's no tomorrow. They just dont wanna learn to play the 3 person Mahjong!! >.< lolx. It's really more exciting I tell u. Your heart will jump out de. REALLY!!

And I remember sending him off on Tuesday. Despite Orders from Nick and Kel NOT to see him off, I still went. I asked Yanny b4, and she said she couldnt change my mind cuz I already made up my mind. I asked Tina b4, and she said it'll be good for me to go.. Maybe it'll act like a closure.. Hahaha. I dont know. I dont even want to think abt the future. It seems to far away.

Stupid me waited at the airport since 7.45pm. I didnt wanna go home after work. So I thought I'll go there earlier. He only came at 9.30pm.. =.= Ian, Darren, Weijie, Uncle Chin came and send him off too. (:

I didnt cry.. keke... Some tears welled up in my eyes, but they didnt fall. I'm glad. Hahha..

Right now, all I know is I so prefer studying to working (if it's a desk job. =.=).. After this 2 weeks, if no other job offers are made, I'm gonna concentrate on dancing and horse-back ridding. hahaa. yes yes yes. I like ridding horses! My first experience in NZ made me fall in love with it. Keke. Imagine sitting aback a huge stallion and gallopping through meadows and pastures. The sun is high, but it's not too warm, the wind is in your hair, you can feel the horse's power and muscles beneath your buttock. (: So nice! I'm not kiddin! That's all in NZ. Hahaha. And now OSIM came up with this new body toning machine called iGallop.

It's suppose to help customers tone up various parts of their body through this machine that moves like a horse. LOLX! Reminds me of those lil 20cent rides in coffee shops. So it's like - supervalue added la. LOLX.

Update later. (; gtg. Miss muthus!!!

Choice

2006-01-02T22:28:00.000+08:00

I love my girlfriends. (: and Mahjong rocks!

In a deserted barren island with only a plain sampan for company, would you rather row the sampan in hope of finding rescue, or stay on the dry island and die of thirst and hunger?

Peaceful An..

2006-01-02T00:23:00.000+08:00

And so.. I said yes. I'm throwing myself into unknown territory. I think only a few people know what's the question that I gave my answer for. Hahahaha..

I'm so glad you told me how u felt yanny. I dont feel so alone anymore.. Hahaha. But still.. I still dont know what I'll feel like once he leaves for Australia again. 2006 should mean a new begining for me. I've been stagnant for sometime, held back unable to move on.. Now I'm trying.. Eventhough I dont know if it is the right choice, I know I probably should give it a try..

Sigh. But it still doesnt really take the ache off my heart.

Thanks Becks Vick.. Hahaha.

Only 2 more days.

I dont know why I grasp at empty air..

Qns: Do you ever think about your old flame?
Why? Do you really want him back? Or are u wasting your time?

Happy New Year

2006-01-01T08:31:00.000+08:00

Happpy New Year to everyone... (: And what a peaceful NYE it was.

Hopefully it means that 2006 would be a better year for all than 2005.

New Year Resolutions:
1. Forget him.
2. Forget him.
3. Forget him.

Sighh. I'm the pathetic-est creature around. I dont want to think abt him anymore. But there's nothing to distract me from it..
I hope I succeed.

You too Tina. No more crying for both of us. (:

Well.. Maybe just once more. On the 3rd of Jan.

and my answer may just be yes..

i wish..

2005-12-29T22:54:00.000+08:00

How I wish things would turn out differently..
How I wish there was just you and me..
You were never there when I needed you,
But you are all that I ever think of.
I cant give you up,
eventhough I tried..
I tried.. I tried so hard.
Everytime I thought I succeeded,
You come back and I get caught in the web again..
Everytime I see you,
I smile on my face and cry in my heart..
I always knew I look back and tears and laugh..
But I never thought I'll look back at the laughters and cry..
I want u back..
Not you now, but the you 3 years ago.
I need u back.
Yet it's something that I will never admit aloud..

I know.. I know some part of my heart still loves u..
I just.. dont knw how to tell u..

and I'll only be afraid of your reply..
I know.. I love you..

Post-Cruise

2005-12-29T11:46:00.000+08:00

What if I never find the feelings back again?

Just b4 heading for holiday

2005-12-25T10:20:00.000+08:00

Wont be around until the 28th. (: enjoy!~

MERRY XMAS TOO~

*^^*

Vicky @ Bugis

2005-12-23T22:10:00.000+08:00

Met Vic for lunch at Bugis!! Hahahaa. I think I've been to Bugis like.. 3 times this weel alr?? Almost sick of that place. Lolx. But they just HAD to have so many sales!! ;p

Had a great time with ya today vickkkkyyyY!! ;D

See See!! Hahaha. We look super les.

Might be gg away for Xmas.. Didnt get to meet Wy or Linx today. ): miss u alll SO SO SO badly!!

Update. Finally. Hahaha.

2005-12-22T23:11:00.000+08:00

Time to update!! Hahahaha. Let's talk abt me being a party animal.

Hah. I'm not really a party animal la. I just like to dance! (: and prolly it was because my first time clubbing with Tina was so enjoyable ba. So that's why I wanted to go back to Zouk. But ytd was not much fun at all. ):

I first when Jia Lin's place for some makeup fun before heading to bugis once again to shop for her prom stuff. I wore heels, so imagine my agony. Heng heng we found this super comfortable japanese slippers at the Edge for only 8$!!!!! Is it cheap or super cheap?? lolx. Every step is like stepping on lush green grass. ;p Cuz it's made of straw ma. hahaha.

Den left for primary school gathering at Marina South. Lolx. It was da MOST successful primary school gathering ever la. hahaha. like.. abt 30-40 ppl showed up? and the ratio of girls to guys was 1:3. Hahaha. Enjoyed that gathering v v v v much!! Hopefully I'll be able to post pictures up soon. Den can show u guys the cute guys. Muhahaha. ;p

Went to Zouk with YongLiang, James and their grp of frenz. Mitran and guys (NUS/NTU/SMU Rugby team!! :D imagine their build! ) And finally Darren, WJ and KB. Vinna and Weiqi was suppose to go too. But they cant go in the end cuz they hv sch tml. and Linx and Adi they all cant also, so I'm the only girl in like.. so many guys. =.= Not at all wonderful or lucky if u ask me. Cuz I didnt dance with Yongliang they all, and WJ n KB didnt dance, only Darren danced with me!! Lolx. The only time I enjoyed was when I danced with Mitran and guys. Cause they are professional hiphop dancers!!! Duno won how many contests le!! So they were HOT. Burnt off the dance floor. *^^*

OH YA. It was interesting as well, cuz I saw 2 drunk-ees, 1 fight. whOoO. Exciting. This guy (A) was supporting his drunk guy friend (B) on his arm and shoulder. All the time they were trying to walk out from the entrance of Zouk. Then while A was carrying B out the entrance, B was hornily grabbing at guy A's shirt buttons and neck and chest and trying to push his lips to A's lips!! WhahAhaha!! Poor A had to walk him out the entrance, and frantically warding off B's lewd advances. LOLX! I think B thought A was a girl. (:

All that's yesterday. Now for today.

Just came back from dance class, and there's these 4 horrid (but not in the evil kinda way. they're just super noisy and attention seeking!!) girls that kept interrupting the class with giggles and (loud) conversation and dirty jokes and whatevernots. GRRR. SO FREAKING NOISY!! I wanted to scream at them "Shut UP!!!!!" Cuz Fi (my instructor) was teaching us the steps la. Apparently they alr knew the steps so they was like "Oh! I know this! Like that like that right??" Den the rest of us who duno cant hear Fi's instructions, and they still conversed their 1.5 hours away. GRRrRR!!!!

Bimbos.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TINA!!

2005-12-20T12:10:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday dear girl! (:

Mark

2005-12-19T00:57:00.000+08:00

Went shopping at Bugis Street againt today...!! Bought so many super super cheap stuff la! Muhahahaa. Can bargain and bargain even more. Their Abercrombie and Fitch minis are authentic and CHEAP!! Wished I brought more $$ with me. Sigh.

Hahaha. Anyway met Mark today after shopping. He went out with our family for dinner at this classy restaurant at Raffles Town Club. Mmm.. the rack of lamb is superb. ;p heh heh. but wad was best was the company.. Been SO long since I last saw Mark. And we promised to go out to shop for Prom stuff together after our A lvls, but somehow did get to do it. And he's going into NS soon le!!! *sobs* Np.. Cuz I think we'll be gg clubbing soon. (:

Mmm.. Alot of things happened recently.. I dont even know where to start... I hate my naivety, my ability to kid myself, my inabilty to pull myself out from a web that I threw myself in...

I really really dont know what to do anymore.

Why cant I have a normal relationship like everyone else...?

2005-12-16T23:43:00.000+08:00

Dreamy state of mind.. if only it could last..

(:

Christmas Presents (:

2005-12-15T22:34:00.000+08:00

Took up another 2 dance courses. Salsa at 6.30pm along with Exotic Dancing at 7.30pm on Monday, and a 2 session workshop on Thursday!! *^^* Muhahaha.

I wanna continue into Exotic Dancing module 2 after this beginners' course, and of course Salsa as well. But on top of that I wanna take Ballroom and Latin as well in Jan next year!!! AHH GAGGAGAA. It's all the fault of the show that J.Lo and Richard Gere starred in; Shall We Dance. Now I cant wait to start ballroom as well. Kekeke. And den maybe in the future I can have some dreamy chaming dance partner in the future. ;p

Anyway, talking abt dreamy dance partners.. After today's workshop, I saw the students of the next class. I think it's like the pro-est of of the pro class, something abt Leading and Styling in Salsa. One of them looks so freaking yummy la!!! Big broad shoulders, muscular chest, dimpled cheek, sparkling eyes. WHeeeW!~ Hot hot. (: but I think he's partner is older den him by some years. He look so young!! like 25?? and his partner looked 35... :x

MuhahhaHahAHaHahaHAa!!! I'm drooling. :p and Michelle is so lucky!! She'll be viewing a gallery of hunky blonde blue eyes canadian guys now. Keke.

PICTURES Michelle PICTURES! (:

Shopping!! At MnS and Isetan

2005-12-13T13:42:00.000+08:00

Got myself a new set of lingerie ytd. With butterflies!!! HAhahahaa!! Luckily all of the visitors to my blog is girls or close frenz. mUhahaha. I'm so exhilarated!! I simply love the butterflies on the lingerie. Hee,. and got myself heels from MnS too. Light bronze. Sweet. (:

Fell ill after being dehydrated for too long. Now my throat's got an infection, and it hurts to even swallow. I cant eat without feeling a stab of pain at the back of my throat. Sigh.

And have class BBQ later. I wanna go!! I wanna see the rest of my class. Hehe. But I confirm wont be able to eat anything there alr.. =(

I love my curls. *^^*

Raffles Courtyard

2005-12-10T12:36:00.000+08:00

Mom brought all of us to Raffles Courtyard for dinner last night. Keke. She bought me an excellent log cake!! The ambience there was great, the weather was cool and music was playin in the background. The food was good (enough) although I still prefer the Char Kuey Thao from the real Hawker. lolx.

Oh.. and I curled my hair ytd. (: Stupid curlers were so freaking heavy. The cute malay hairdresser nicknamed me Queen Amidala with that big awkward hairdo. I couldnt stop laughin, for everytime I moved, the curlers swayed dangerously with me and only make me laugh even more.

The 42 heavy curlers were just part of the torturing ordeal. It was also painful and smelly~ the hairdresser had to put chemicals into my hair. and afterwards, used a big showercap to keep the chemicals from streaming down all over my neck and back. For 30 minutes, I held the heavy weight. I felt like my neck was gonna crack! And finally, the hairdresser came over and pulled the showercap out.

WHEW! I tell u, the smell of ammonia has never been more revolting. I wanted to puke and cry and laugh at the thought of my hair smelling like the toilet bowl that someone had just puked and threw rotten fishes and eggs in. My goodness!! and the Hairdresser said mine smelled "good" already. Other not-so-good chemicals were WORSE.

I dont wanna imagine.

Anyway, the hairdresser had to rinse the chemicals from my hair. So she had to tore through the thick bunch of curlers, as a result, pulling my already painful scalp (from the weight and pull of the heavy curlers) and I believe, causing the loss of half of the nerves on my head.

And my brother straightened his hair. He complained the iron was hot and the man keeps pulling harshly at his tightly curled hair. HelLooo?

Didnt I just show you that Beauty comes with a Price? Hahaha.

I'm meeting some of the girls today and I cant wait!! *^^*

Just let me dream..

Shooting Stars

2005-12-09T12:10:00.000+08:00

After 3 different drinks of vodka, martini and rum, I saw shooting stars underneath the blanket of dark twinkling sky. haha.

Jialat.. I'm becoming an alcoholic. lolx.

no time to blog!!

2005-12-08T11:31:00.000+08:00

lolx! Serious no time to blog. Have been coming home so so so late the past few days..! Going out in awhile, so I'm gonna do a summary blog. ;p

5th Dec, watched Aeon Flux with Chelz, Tina, Ym, Nick and Sj. Tina and I poked fun at the 2 poor erm ticket-tearer at the entrance. So funnY!! Felt like a princess on my birthday. Muhahahaha. Tina they all pampered me so la. ;p

Took neoprints, den went to the Balcony at Heeren to drink. WAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! I love that place can? hahahaa. Maybe it's the company, maybe it's the ambience. I dont know. But I felt very blessed. ;p Only wished that the rest of the Muthus were there. Do u know that a drink costs abt $12-$14?? OMg. So ex la. HAhaha. But it isnt like we drink all the time, so it's okay.

And Tina and Ym they all gave me a super like Anna Sui Handmirror, Mascara, ZaRa Shirt and a sequined butterly card made by Tina!!! SJ presented me a Ameyst Crystal, and Nick gave me a book. Memoirs of Geisha. NICE!! read it!!

And sweet Michelle sang Happy Birthday to me at the Balcony!!!! Lolx. Thank you Chelz!!! ;p *hugs*

Had one of the bestest birthday ever. (:

6th Dec, Met Ian for breakfast at Bt Panjang Plaza before heading to BBDC to register to learn to drive. Hahaha. YES!! Finally I get to learn how to drive. Then went to HSA to donate blood together. For the first time, I DONT need a CONSENT FORM to donate blood!!! WhahHahAhAh!!! Do you know how liberating it feels? Hahahaa. *bleah*

Took nap at Ian's place, his dog smells BAD... hahahaa., But it's super cute. And Ian's a gentleman. He and his dog stood guard outside the room at the door while I napped. WHAHAHAHAH! Good puppies. ;p

Arrived at KK's hse around 6.30pm. Greeted by an Iguana. (: Finally met the rest of the class!! Hahaha. Havent met YX and Linx and YW for so long!!! YW n guys gave me this super nice necklace and earrings, and Angel Linx bought me an Angel Shirt. Kekeke. Angel presenting an angel tee. *^^*

7th Dec, Went out with Kenneth and Nigel. Haahahah. Met Tina, her older sis - Eveline for dinner and headed for Zouk!!! ZOUK!!! SO freakin big can??? MUhahahahaha!!! And so fun!! Whahahahaha! It's true la. The smoke there sucks, the drinks are expensive, entry is expensive too (but ladeis night so we dun need to pay. ;p), but the music and dancing rocks!!! Hahaha!!

*hugs* had a wonderful time with you and ur sis Tina! ;)

Dance dance dance!! *^^*

Happy Birthday to Me.

2005-12-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Yvonne~ hahaha.

How can someone feel so happy and yet so sadly nostalgic at the same time?

I received a call from a unregistered number on my new phone just before midnight. I didnt recognise it at first, but den I realise it's him. Strangely, I didnt feel much, much as in, I dont feel sad, happy, heartache; nothing. I was just midly surprised that he's back in Sg alr. And I didnt really expect him to call me. So ah well.. doesnt matter anyway. I'm just glad that I didnt feel anything.. (:

Actually I'm rather disappointed that neither An nor Kang smsed me... I really wanted one of them to. Haiyo.

Anyway, received alot of smses at 12 midnight. hahaha. Some I dont even hv their number le.. :x and most importantly, my dears wished me happy birthday!! hahahaha. Wud be meeting Yx, Chelz, Nick, Tina and Ym tml. *^^* cant wait!!

He gave me thick Purple fluffy towels and A'mos Cookies.
An gave me the 4-leaf clover necklace,
Chelz n Yx gave me a really pretty feather lace-up slippers.
Dad gave me an iBook 14".

Mom.. It'll be my best birthday prezzie, if it really comes true.

Hahaha. After watching Hossen Leong and Jonathan Lim in Chestnut (I prefer It Takes Two and Dim Sum Dollies!) at Jubilee Hall at Raffles Hotel, I casually remarked to my Mom that I absolutely love the ambience of the various diners there, and wondered what the hotel rooms looked like. And she said "Okay la. I treat you to dinner here in your birthday. You want to book a room ma?"

And that's how my Mom decided me to get me my birthday present. Keke. And I already know who I wanna spend the night in Raffles Hotel room alr. ;) *wriggles eyebrows*

Mmm.. Today is also the last day of work at IT exhibition at Funan. O2 guy asked for my number, I only found out later when he smsed me that he's name is Earnest. Michelle, you can stop being excited because he only wanted the number so he could tell me if his boss needs more promoters, and could give us the job. (: Hahaha. And one of my customers actually became an accquintance. Rinash, a scholar from India (Michelle said he was cute!), he's taking a part-time job, is a reowned DJ (top42!), and also learned in Bartending. He's got a cute bod to boot too! ;) Muahahahahaha.

Yeah. Exciting day at work. (: Cant wait for tml.

Again at Funan IT Mall

2005-12-01T23:10:00.000+08:00

Working again at Funan IT mall for Apple Center again with Chelz. :) HAPPY!!! lolx.

I miss Wy, I mIss Yanny, I miss Yw, Linx and Andy. =(

meeting him tml night for dinner. YES!!! =D super happppyyy.. muhahahaha. I think only Wy know ba.. Cuz I told her ytd when we went out. ^^

WHERE ARE THE REST OF U GUYS???? Missing u all badly.

Prom Accessories

2005-11-30T22:51:00.000+08:00

Bought many things after my mom let me off today. hahaha. thanks to wy, i bought all that i need except shoes. lolx. tired. gonna zZzzz.

I wished my mom let me stay over at chalets. Sigh.

To you

2005-11-30T12:10:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday.