Fcuk...
I wanna cry. and bawl out loud.
Since when was taking a Bach Degree in Business considered "commoner" and taking Biomedical Sci/TCM a "scholar"? Why did my mom have to tell everyone abt wad i think, resulting in every relative of mine calling me to psycho me to stay in NTU or go Monash for Med? Why did she say that I could make my own decisions, only to tell me now that she'll be disappointed in me if I chose anything less then Biomed or Med? I grew up thinking that my parents wouldnt stop me from doing what I wanted. I thought that my parents would trust me enough to make my own decisions and support me in whatever decisions that I make. Why is this an exception?
I cant talk to anyone abt it becuz everytime i'm with muthus, I'm too happie to think abt issues like this to get me down. Cuz everytime I'm in the company, i wanted to do things that are more important on hand. Cuz I feel so much more at ease and comfortable in the presense of the girls, youwei, calvin, alexx, kent, ben etc..
But it's like this bottle of coke inside me. everytime I talk to my parents, it gets shaken up and attempts to explode. Then everytime I'm in company, or with muthus, they put nice salt into the coke to get rid of all the gas. Hmm. It's not a very good analogy, but u get what i mean!!
My work doesnt effect me or give me stress. Studying gives me a little bit more, but I can handle it! I can handle everything except my parent's obvious disappointment, their sarcastic remarks, their biased opinions abt NTI, them talking to me abt the same thing everyday. "Give up ur work!", "Study Med or Biomed/TCM", "Dont come home so late!", "Meet you also must make appt!", "Cant you just stay at home?!",
Everytime they say that, it tears a part of me becuz everything they say revolves around what I love to do in NTI. Being a Lingdao, meeting the girls, taking their appts, making my own appts, sharing with others this wonderful feeling and opportunity, having late night supper, going crazy at the KTV, clubbing on Mambo night... Everytime they say that, I feel as if they didnt want me to be happiy (as IF i'll be contented staying at home all day staring into the empty hse!!). But I do knw that I need to spend more time with my siblings.. I just wish my parents would stop talking to me abt the same things and let me be. Nothing effects me so much so as compared to their excessive concern and demands. And it'll take me sometime too. Cuz Ling and Min and Dora and Youwei has yet to become inter-dependent and take appts as well. Until then, I will wanna take their appts and until they are ready, den will i think abt spending time with my family a little more. (maybe then my parents will be happy that I spend 2 hrs at home staring into empty space.) You know that in 2 hours I can take 2 appts and that means 2 possible students and also means possible Emcom joint-partnership prospects and would mean USD100 to the girls or youwei???!!)
*breathes*
Nothing stresses me out as much as my parents.. My mom even chose not to tell me abt a gathering on this coming friday night. "tell u, u also not free anyway." Ouch. How does she want me to concentrate on my studies this way? I cant do well in my studies when u guys are affecting me so much.. I know I may be busy. But stop making it sound like i'm not putting in any effort. cuz i really am.. There are some things that I HAVE to do and like to do. Just certain commitments that I made and want to keep. It's not my choice that family gathering has to be on friday night, and speaker's training is on friday night as well. And I like speaker's training. Sigh. Doesnt mean that I dont like spending time with my family lah.. Just that.. I wish they wont put so much expections on me. I'm withering from all the explanation, the crying, the worry, the concern..
I'm so proud of the girls ytd. Ling's making appts again, giving Emma and the rest a model to follow. Fen's leaving soon, but she's doing a good job of bridging Emma and MengQing to Ling and myself. Youwei's making appts soon again, and his guys are all enthusiastic and made alot of appts this week. (: *beams* I'm glad they're in NTI with me.
Mr Alexx held an emotional meeting for managers ytd night. It was awkward at first, but it turned out pretty well. All of us got to know one another in more detail, how to improve ourselves and knows where our strengths and focuz should be. We promised him 500 lots among the 16 of us in 2 weeks. TWO weeks!! :D:D
There'll be a Ying Xiong Yan D&D in end of Sept. If we hit that target, all managers will be invited to the D&D. If not, we'll all not wear our shiny coats for a month (NO!) and for our team, guys or girls that become managers in this time period and fight hard for that 500 lots, will be invited to the D&D too! *^^* I cant wait!!
I'm gonna hit it. (: Promise!
Nymphx;
9:11 AM
Nymphx;
11:36 AM
Nymphx;
11:46 PM
Nymphx;
9:05 AM
Here I am..
It's raining outside and I'm sitting on the big couch with the laptop feeling all nostalgic about the past, present and unknown future..
I love it when it's raining.
I'm not sure when it started, but I started loving how each raindrop falls and bounces off the leaf of a tree. Keke. It's like when I step back and look at the entire scenery, it looks like a very big shower to cleanse the entire earth, with the winds howling, the trees sways and looks rejuvenated. I swear one day I'm gonna find myself a high high place on earth with nothing but big vast green plains and overlook the valleys and wait for it to rain. *grins* that's silly aint it? Kekekkee. Humour me people!
But really I do think that looking at the rain and just enjoying the breeze is so utterly soothing and evoke alot of feelings and reflections.. (:
I was just thinking abt what he is thinking right now.. I dont know if it's raining there. Maybe he is thinking of somebody else. Kekeke. I'm not sure what got into me recently.. A part of me wants to be all strong and independent and nonchalant about anything else other then my work. (fine. and studies.) It's all head-on and stubborn and pretty happy that she didnt fall into the normal category of people who let love affect their work. It didnt make sense to her to have someone else to be incharge of her emotions and feelings. As if - her happiness, her saddess, her tears, her smile, would all be because of someone else's actions. It means total loss of control of herself. And I hate that. I like being in control of my own emotions and feelings.
But there's also that small tugging part of her that sometimes feel so tired of bearing every single thing by herself. And that's the vulnerable part of her too.
He has to be warm and endearing, caring and yet not overly concerned. He's gotta be protective and posessive, but without making me feel as if I've lost my freedom and own control. He needs to be fairly romantic and gentlemanly, career-minded, professional yet loves spending time with his family and friends and me. And if I would to ask all that from him, he can ask the same from me too. Kekeke.
I'm feeling silly. Does that person exist? (: Kekeke.
I guess it doesnt matter because I have my work (and school. sigh) to concentrate on now. I'm aiming to help my guys and girls in NTI, and start earning USD100 every 2-3 days by end of Sept. *^^* Not alot, but it'll do la.
Oh. I've been accepted by Monash University for Medicine.. Next intake in Feb 07...
I desperately want to meet my muthus. Is everyone free this friday early afternoon? Yanny, Linx, hving exams? Wy wad time u gonna end work? hahaha. Chelz, yuwei, andy wad time do u guys end sch that day?
Some pictures taken during my first day of school. NTI had a booth in NTU, and some of them accompanied me for the day and crashed my lectures. *beams*
Nymphx;
11:49 AM
1. Sweet Wy made a "yvonne" necklace for yvonne!! ;p Met her for a while earlier this week for lunch and bought 2 pretty tees from her Valashoppe. *^^*
2. Kena food poisoning in the FIRST day of school on Thursday. &*%#%@$#!@#* WTF man. (have u tired continuously LS-ing for TWO days, each day like 3-4 times??? I tell u it's EXHUASTING!!!)
3. Dyed my hair in a dark brown, and highlighted my hair MAGMA. Yep. Magma.
4. Missed interview for Speaker's Team and also EDT's Coach because of my stupid food poisoning!!! *sobs* Mr Calvin consoled that it'll be of no point if i cant do my best in this EDT cuz of my sickness anyway.. That if i wanted to be the best, i had better get better first. ): But still.. feel a little disappointed. Sigh. No matter. I'm gonna come back and make it even greater!
5. Found out that what happened at the beach that day was not all that I thought.. It's almost hilarious. Hahahaa!! Cant wait to meet up with my muthus (And I dread going to school!!) I wonder how are the rest doing in school and projects and exams.. mMm..
Came back from my Cherating Trip already. Hehe. Boy was it fun. *^^* I just wished that Ben had more fun too. Cuz that idiot didnt let himself dance cuz he felt he wasnt good enuff. I was v good either! Kekeke. My toes like attacking other toes. *bleah but i danced and performed anyway. LOLX! Met alot of Salsaros and Salsaras tthere. and the last night was most memorable for me. *^^* We had the honour of drinking and making merry with Salsa Sam of Malaysia! *beams*
Lingz and Fen and the rest at coy are going through a very stressful time period along with all the exams and projects that they've got to do for school.. It sucks cuz it really hurts to see them so stressed up. Argh! I've got to be a better manager to help them.. *hugs!!* I dont know in what way i can help with ur school work, but rest assure that i'll path the way for u guys and your guys in NTI. (: trust me.
Next update.. Apparantly.. it's the girl that has affections for Turrtle. And bloody hell I think Turrtle knew! (abt me) He just wasnt clear. Hahaha. But it's okay now, cuz i cleared the air already, and all's well that ends well. *^^* I suggested that this kinda thing really didnt bother me for long, n that I may be waiting for someone.. I wonder why is it that he chooses to be a little more cold towards me than others. I mean, I care alot of Mr Alexx, Mr Calvin, Mr James, and even poke fun at Mr Adrian and the rest. And they poke fun back. (Sometimes quite cruelly! SOB SOB.) But he's always the one being poked by me. mMm.. no matter ba.. I'm seeing a side of him that I've never seen before. Oh shoot. i still owe him $40 + $3 and his tee-shirt! i forgot!!
Hopefully I feel better enough to head down to company again later to give my moral support. Argh. My head is so bloody heavy.
And I still need to finish my FIVE tutorials, read through the FOUR lectures i missed, and read through the next FIVE lectures!!! *SOBS* I hate school can. Now I know why Mr Zen, Mr Yuanjie all chose to drop out of Uni. Min said that she wouldnt be surprised if me or mr kent and steven did the same too. I think i wouldnt be surprised as well. Hmm.
Nymphx;
9:21 AM
Nymphx;
1:31 AM
