Fcuk...

I wanna cry. and bawl out loud.

Since when was taking a Bach Degree in Business considered "commoner" and taking Biomedical Sci/TCM a "scholar"? Why did my mom have to tell everyone abt wad i think, resulting in every relative of mine calling me to psycho me to stay in NTU or go Monash for Med? Why did she say that I could make my own decisions, only to tell me now that she'll be disappointed in me if I chose anything less then Biomed or Med? I grew up thinking that my parents wouldnt stop me from doing what I wanted. I thought that my parents would trust me enough to make my own decisions and support me in whatever decisions that I make. Why is this an exception?

I cant talk to anyone abt it becuz everytime i'm with muthus, I'm too happie to think abt issues like this to get me down. Cuz everytime I'm in the company, i wanted to do things that are more important on hand. Cuz I feel so much more at ease and comfortable in the presense of the girls, youwei, calvin, alexx, kent, ben etc..

But it's like this bottle of coke inside me. everytime I talk to my parents, it gets shaken up and attempts to explode. Then everytime I'm in company, or with muthus, they put nice salt into the coke to get rid of all the gas. Hmm. It's not a very good analogy, but u get what i mean!!

My work doesnt effect me or give me stress. Studying gives me a little bit more, but I can handle it! I can handle everything except my parent's obvious disappointment, their sarcastic remarks, their biased opinions abt NTI, them talking to me abt the same thing everyday. "Give up ur work!", "Study Med or Biomed/TCM", "Dont come home so late!", "Meet you also must make appt!", "Cant you just stay at home?!",

Everytime they say that, it tears a part of me becuz everything they say revolves around what I love to do in NTI. Being a Lingdao, meeting the girls, taking their appts, making my own appts, sharing with others this wonderful feeling and opportunity, having late night supper, going crazy at the KTV, clubbing on Mambo night... Everytime they say that, I feel as if they didnt want me to be happiy (as IF i'll be contented staying at home all day staring into the empty hse!!). But I do knw that I need to spend more time with my siblings.. I just wish my parents would stop talking to me abt the same things and let me be. Nothing effects me so much so as compared to their excessive concern and demands. And it'll take me sometime too. Cuz Ling and Min and Dora and Youwei has yet to become inter-dependent and take appts as well. Until then, I will wanna take their appts and until they are ready, den will i think abt spending time with my family a little more. (maybe then my parents will be happy that I spend 2 hrs at home staring into empty space.) You know that in 2 hours I can take 2 appts and that means 2 possible students and also means possible Emcom joint-partnership prospects and would mean USD100 to the girls or youwei???!!)

*breathes*

Nothing stresses me out as much as my parents.. My mom even chose not to tell me abt a gathering on this coming friday night. "tell u, u also not free anyway." Ouch. How does she want me to concentrate on my studies this way? I cant do well in my studies when u guys are affecting me so much.. I know I may be busy. But stop making it sound like i'm not putting in any effort. cuz i really am.. There are some things that I HAVE to do and like to do. Just certain commitments that I made and want to keep. It's not my choice that family gathering has to be on friday night, and speaker's training is on friday night as well. And I like speaker's training. Sigh. Doesnt mean that I dont like spending time with my family lah.. Just that.. I wish they wont put so much expections on me. I'm withering from all the explanation, the crying, the worry, the concern..






I'm so proud of the girls ytd. Ling's making appts again, giving Emma and the rest a model to follow. Fen's leaving soon, but she's doing a good job of bridging Emma and MengQing to Ling and myself. Youwei's making appts soon again, and his guys are all enthusiastic and made alot of appts this week. (: *beams* I'm glad they're in NTI with me.

Mr Alexx held an emotional meeting for managers ytd night. It was awkward at first, but it turned out pretty well. All of us got to know one another in more detail, how to improve ourselves and knows where our strengths and focuz should be. We promised him 500 lots among the 16 of us in 2 weeks. TWO weeks!! :D:D

There'll be a Ying Xiong Yan D&D in end of Sept. If we hit that target, all managers will be invited to the D&D. If not, we'll all not wear our shiny coats for a month (NO!) and for our team, guys or girls that become managers in this time period and fight hard for that 500 lots, will be invited to the D&D too! *^^* I cant wait!!

I'm gonna hit it. (: Promise!